Jeremy Clarkson
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From The Sunday Times
January 6, 2008
Daihatsu Materia
Just a couple of tweaks and it’s an iPhone on wheels, says Jeremy Clarkson
By now, you will have heard all about the new Apple iPhone. You will have been told its battery has the life expectancy of a veal calf, and that if you want to take a photograph, you’d be better off setting up an easel and breaking out the oils.
What’s more, you’ll have been told – by people , who haven’t got one – that it works only on O2 that it can’t receive pictures via the text service and that it jams a lot.
There’s something else as well. It is able to deliver the weather forecast from San Diego and clips from YouTube of young Asian men falling off motorcycles, because it can be connected to the internet. This, however, is not easy. Certainly you won’t be able to do it. So you’re going to need a “little man”.
It used to be that wealthy families in rural idylls would have a “little man” in the village who could be called upon to come round at a moment’s notice and remove dead pigeons from the chimney pot. Or start the car. Or free the satellite dish from the clematis.
Multimedia
He was the most vital cog in the community. But not any more. Because today he’s been surpassed by someone far more important. The “little man” who will come round to fix your broken laptop.
Unfortunately, my little man, who is called Hugo, recently met with some success and is now busy installing vast intranets on industrial estates. So asking him to come round to unblock a stubborn wireless network is a bit like asking Led Zeppelin to come round and be the turn at your four-year-old’s birthday party.
This is a disaster because Hugo is the only man alive who knows how my house works. He knows the systems that prevent reporters from sitting in the road outside and reading my e-mails. He knows the codes that allow my daughter’s laptop to speak to my phone. He knows the DNA of every socket and every inch of cable. And now he is gone.
So when my iPhone asks for an APN and a username and a password before it can hook up to something called the Edge, I have no idea what it’s on about. Nor do I know if I want the VPN on or off because I don’t know what a VPN is. Or data roaming. And then I have to tell it whether I am WEP, WPA or WPA2.
And, of course, my new little man can’t help either because all the information is locked in the mind of my old little man.
The upshot is that I can’t access the internet when I’m out and about, and do you know what? That is not the end of the world, because when I’m on location I rarely have the time or the inclination to think: “What I’d like to do now is watch a Korean explode, and then maybe I’ll watch a plump lady in Houston playing with herself.”
Nor can I access my e-mails, which is also a good thing because nothing has ever been said in an e-mail that needed to be said at all.
And anyway, even without these facilities, the iPhone sits in the pantheon of great inventions alongside the wheel, fire and Sky+. It’s one of those things that come into your life and you think: “How in the name of God did I ever manage without it?”
Sure, the camera, as has been suggested, can’t take pictures if it’s too dark, too bright or something in between, but everything else is brilliant. You type out texts on a proper qwerty keyboard, and even if you make a mistake it uses witchcraft to correct the error. And then there’s the telephone, which comes with big, special-needs numbers that you can’t miss even if you have fingers like burst sausages. And on top of this, it’s an iPod.
Problems? Honestly, there aren’t any. I’ve had mine hacked so it works on Vodafone, and I’m sorry, but the battery is fine. It lasts for four days. Though this might have something to do with the fact that I’m a man, and therefore only think to use a phone when I’m on a cliff, clinging to a branch, in a howling gale. And only then as a last resort.
This brings me on to an interesting idea. Why doesn’t Apple make a car?
The fact of the matter is that the established car makers are timid and afraid of change. They think the mini MPV is a revolution and that the Smart car can be mentioned in the same breath as penicillin. This means they never think outside the box.
Why, for instance, does a car have a steering wheel? Or pedals? Or a dashboard? No, really. As anyone under the age of 15 will tell you, the handset for a PlayStation can be used to steer, accelerate and brake a car. And there are still spare buttons on the handset that can be used to fire machineguns.
And, of course, without a steering wheel or a dashboard, there’d be a lot more space in the cabin, and no need for expensive, weighty airbags. And that’s just me, thinking off the top of my head.
I feel fairly sure that if Apple were asked to make a car, it would come up with an automotive iPod, and within weeks we’d view the current alternatives in the same way that we now view the cassette tape, the LP and the 8-track. Until then, however, we will have to make do with the Daihatsu Materia.
In essence, this is a small, five-door hatchback that you can buy for £10,995. But as you can see from the pictures, it doesn’t look like a small five-door hatchback. It looks like the Johnny Cab Arnold Schwarzenegger used when he was on Mars.
You may not care for the styling very much, in the same way that you may think an iPod is no match for the gloss and the joy of an album cover. But there is one big advantage. And I do mean big. Inside, the Materia is absolutely vast.
On the outside, then, you have a car that is as easy to park as a small Volkswagen. But inside, five adults can luxuriate.
It’s a nice place to be too. The dashboard doesn’t look like it was designed to a price – which, because they’ve put the instruments in the middle so they don’t have to be changed for left-hand-drive markets, it was. However, precisely because the instruments are in the middle, it looks like it’s all been styled by someone with a vision, and a polo-neck jumper.
The Materia is well equipped too. You get a CD changer – wow – air-conditioning, rear parking sensors, electric bits and bobs and, if you fork out £800 more, an automatic gearbox.
Under the bonnet there’s a 1.5 litre engine that produces – just – enough get-up-and-go to mean the Materia can be used on a motorway. It’s not like today’s Euro-smalls that have too much weight and too little oomph to get out of the inside lane.
To drive? Well it’s fairly terrible, if I’m honest. Any attempt to make it dance is resisted with lots of bouncing around, and because the front seats are so utterly lacking in side support you tend to fall out of them if you are even remotely spirited.
It doesn’t matter, though. Criticising the little Daihatsu for not being sporty is a bit like criticising Postman Pat’s van for not being any good at making mashed potatoes.
The only thing I will criticise is the fuel consumption. Maybe because the body has the aerodynamic properties of a warehouse, or maybe because the engine’s bigger than is normal, it isn’t the pound stretcher you might imagine: around 35mpg will be the norm.
This will add a few pounds to your annual motoring bill but I think it’s worth it. I liked this car very much. You will, too, whether you’re a school-run mum, an old lady or a surfer dude who wants a boxy replacement for your recently expired VW Microbus.
However, there is a long way to go. Daihatsu has wandered off the well-worn path with this one, and come up with what the motor industry would call radical and daring. But imagine what might be possible if the Materia were now handed over to the computer industry. We’d get a properly amazing car. And little men everywhere would be in work for the rest of time.
Vital statistics
Model Daihatsu Materia
Engine 1495cc, four cylinders
Power 102bhp @ 6000rpm
Torque 97 lb ft @ 4400rpm
Transmission Five-speed manual
Fuel 39.2mpg (combined cycle)
CO2 169g/km
Acceleration 0-62mph: 10.8sec
Top speed 106mph
Price £10,995
Rating
Verdict A giant leap for car-making kind
D-Boy
The vehicle is Scion xb/ Toyota bB/ Daihatsu Materia/ Daihatsu Coo are the same vehicle platforms with different engines for different markets.
Victor, Del Mar, USA
I apologize, the Japanese bB/ Materia is one platform. The US xB is the Corolla Rumion
Victor, Del Mar, USA
So Clarky, you like innovation in automobiles eh? You didn't say much on your review of the Honda Civic type R about the innovative interior, totally ignored the futuristic looks of the exterior (how can you prefer the previous 'bubble granny supermarket' shape? When you complained about the seat retracting to the original position you failed to mention that the previous type r seat did exactly the same, I would have loved to have seen the stig (again you failed to mention that he actually loved the car in the Top gear mag) race the new type r against the old. It looked to me that you were driving it badly on purpose.One more thing, the fact that it out performed your precious Golf GTI didn't get much of a mention either did it?
I very much look forward to watching Top Gear, enjoy all of you guys presenting the show. But I did feel that this was lazy journalism - the other two didn't even comment!
Apart from this keep up the good work! ;)
Gavin Skelhorn, London, England
In our small Island home (54.4 sq.km), this car is perfect. I love driving our automatic (2mths) because of its good looks, driving position, pep and good handling at our relatively slow speeds (45-50K). The blue glow from the door speakers, and instrument panel adds to the cool factor when driving at night. It is perfect for parking in our congested city. It truly does look small on the outside but is actually cavernous within. I used to have a larger sedan, but this car can carry so much more and the license fee is substantially less.
AH, Sandys, BERMUDA
I once had an email from a girl telling me just how much she loved me. Her writing was better than her extemporaneous speaking. I found that to be an email that had something worth saying. YMMV.
w_boodle, NYC, NY
Clarko, did you ever see the similarity befween Richard Hammond and Stan Laurel from laurel and hardy
Mick, Norfolk uk,
Mr Clarkson,
Please review the TATA Nano- your views will be a delight
Regards
RV
Venkatraman, Singapore,
GREAT!!!!How eco friendly if all 4x4 owners used it ti go shopping
Where & when can I Buy one?
snartcar owner, Santa Ponsa, Spaib
At a computer expo a few years ago Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response General Motors issued a press release stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft...":
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
It goes on!
Evan, London,
Didn't Arnie use the Johnny Cab before he got to Mars? The guy with the wierd arm drove on Mars. Oh, the car, hmm I drive a rar rar so not my cup of tea.
Jonz, London, UK
The Apple i-Car comes fitted with an integrated robot pilot called an i-Jeremy. Its functions include i-Speed and i-Brake. However, the i-Queue is still under development. JC for PM!!!
Alan, Kathmandu,
So you're happy with this thing, Mr Clarkson, but you despair over the lack of life force you feel must afflict anyone who buys a Scenic?
Philip Roper, Melbourne, Australia
Dear Jeremy,
Love your comments, even when I disagree. I was once the proud owner of a 1978 Datsun B-210. A terribly cheap car, having 78 horses, most of which were asleep, the cornering ability of a cheese box, and a five-speed manual. Averaging well in excess of 40 mpg, (a best of 49.1mpg) this car was simply fun to drive. It could be flung around and hot rodded wih only little fear of citations. It would go 0-60...eventually, it was so small, I could unlock the passenger door without leaning over, yet I hauled over 2300 pounds of cargo one day. I knew if I had a head-on collision with a squirrel, I would lose, & it rusted faster than a ten-penny nail in a can of Coke. I loved the little car. I kept it for 19 years, 275,300 miles, and had to give up when the rear suspension came calling through the back floor. Still, I pulled the engine & tranny to put in my son's car, & it lived another two years. With all it's failures, I loved the car & wish they would make it again
John, Kansas City, Missouri, USA
As ever, I enjoyed your article Jeremy.
If Apple were to manufacture a car I'm also certain that they wouldn't use oil either. Or electricity for that matter (which the motor industry would still have you believe is a friendlier form of energy yet is clearly very inefficient to produce; how much is lost in the powerstation turbines!?). I'm sure that they would plump for H20. After all, it is clean and crisp, just like their design.
Their car would be exquisite. The world would coo over it. Of course as with all of Apple's creations it would take at least three to four marks later for the vehicles to be reliable. Due to scrimping on materials you would die in the car if you hit a pedestrian at thirty.
Carlsberg don't do cars...
joshwah, Cambridge, Great Britain
Brad Y, the Scion xB is NOT a rebadged Materia. The Materia is a completely different vehicle - it just looks like the xB because its designed to take on the xB.
D-Boy, Ashtabula, Ohio, USA
Men in gray polo-neck jumpers with neat cropped hair speaking in incomprehensible acronyms. However good what they produce may be this is not something I want to see encouraged.
David Williams, Beijing, China
How do you go from BMW 135i (the epiphany of German engineering, beauty and practicality) to a Daihatsu Materia (often referrred to as the ugliest thing ever)?
What idiot selects these cars?
By the way, over here you could win a Daihatsu Charade on Wheel of Fortune. They parked next to a refrigerator. Some of the stranged sights in all the galaxy...
Maarten Contreras, Oudenaarde, Flanders
Actually Rick T Toyota owns a very large block of Daihatsu stock.. I am sure that alone that would put pressure on them to emulate Toyota not to mention the fact that Toyota is unlikely to invest in a car company which is not up to it's standard of excellence/
John, Fukuoka, Japan
Rick T "Jack, it's a Daihatsu, not a Toyota" - you clearly aren't aware that Toyota own Diahatsu. They share lots of parts - the Sirion uses Toyota engines for example.
Kevin Miller, Tonbridge,
My Apple 6100 (produced during Steve Jobs' absence from the company) lasted 8 years, although the Ethernet socket never worked properly, due to cheap and nasty production engineering.
My Powerbook G4 lasted three years before the display fell off due to fatigue failure in the hinges, due to cheap and nasty production engineering.
My iMac G5 iSight lasted 18 months before the VRAM overheated and packed up, due to cheap and nasty production engineering.
There are two patterns here, neither of them good. Minimalism has replaced chrome tail fins, but in all other respects, Apple's products increasingly resemble 1960's American cars. You might want one to sit in the garage and look pretty, but you wouldn't want to be totally dependent on it.
Ian Kemmish, Biggleswade, UK
For god's sake no! My wife has an iPod and compared with my MP3 player the software and controls are diabolical. Imagine an iCar, turn the steering wheel clockwise and it goes left, because "like thats funky man", the gear stick doubles as the bonnet release and if you want to fill it up it tells you how mutch petrol to put in.
John Gresham, Liverpool, UK
What i dont quite understand is how he managed to successfully hack an iPhone yet couldnt connect it to vodafones edge network! ah well, the iPhone is a great piece of technonlogy and an Apple iCar would be amazing....probably only made available in black white or silver though!
Stephen Kerrod, Macclesfield,
Will he buy an i911?
Someone, somewhere,
Generally good idea, only change the wheel and pedals, possibly work out how to put the gear stick on a controller as well and it would be so much easier. That is actually a really good idea.
Only problem is that the controllers tend to get the buttons staying stuck down which is less than ideal but you could have a spare controller and before you start driving the car tells you if the current controller is adequate and if not then it could be removed and replaced.
Jeremy for PM!
Joe, Exeter, UK
The Daihatsu is not available in the US. I wish it were. Neither are any of the other "box car" models available in Japan like the Toyota BB or the Honda Zest. The Toyota was available, and sold extremely well, but has now been replaced by an Americanized monster.
My three year old, pre-americanized Toyota, sold here as the Scion xB, is perfect. So, why kill it? Maybe it cut too deeply into the "normal" Toyota lineup.
My advice? Buy the box.
Donald, Portland, Oregon
Hey Clarkson, I'm the wallet inspector. You're due for an inspection.
Wilson Chen, Bathurst, Australia
Some reasons why computer manufacturers should NOT be allowed make cars:1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads. 7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. 8 The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off
Liam O'Connor, Wexford, Ireland
There are phones that do what the iPhone does (and what it claims to do but doesn't) without charging you a grand for the privilege.
And, as I'm sure Mr Clarkson knows, we're not far from drive-by-wire cars being commercially available. Apple is no technological Messiah.
Neel, London,
Stick an "i" in fromt of it, load it up with gadgets no-one uses, charge about 3 times the going rate - Jeremy will buy one....
By the way, surely in this day and age a USB port for your iPod (or cheaper alternative for sensible people) would be of more use than a CD changer.
Dave Gordon, Edinburgh, UK
My God! Clarkson has an iPhone?
Whatever next? Clarkson buys a 911? Steady on...
Paul Pinfield, Shireoaks, Nottinghamshire
"But imagine what might be possible if the Materia were now handed over to the computer industry"
we'd get the Daihatsu Vista.
Dom, London,
Let the computer industry design a car - are you mad? Imagine the Microsoft effort, continually locking up. Repeated closing and opening of windows to get it going again. Not to mention the blue (wind)screen of death.
justin, New Plymouth, New Zealand
If Apple were to make an iJerephone would it be:
Far from perfect, sexed up but not neccessary, best used in short bursts or it looses it's appeal, limited endurance but provides brief entertainment and will make it's own decision about which numbers should be dialed.
OK, you're quite amusing really but then again I am writing this whilst clinging to a branch, hanging off a cliff in a howling gale.
Beeeeeeeeeeeep,
Richard
Richard Evans, Conwy, UK
The iPhone wouldn't ask for APN's and other crap if you hadn't had it hacked.
Michael Ward, Leigh, Lancashire
Jack, it's a Daihatsu, not a Toyota.
Jeremy, I salute you for taking the brave stance of admitting to having a hacked iPhone, especially as O2 are so very full of themselves for having secured an exclusive deal with Apple allowing them to tie you to a contract as weighty as that of a premiership midfielder. However, be warned, Apple themselves have suggested that future "firmware upgrades" will potentially disable hacked phones. I may not understand what that means (okay, so I don't) but it certainly sounds like a threat.
Rick T, Dubai, UAE
Tiny prob with the iPhone you can't voicedial and as you can't drive and dial anymore what use is that to anyone? We found out Christmas morning once we opened it, took it back to Apple and they wanted $40 to take it back. Pay not to have it, sounds like a sweet deal, for Apple.
Toni Booker, Beaverton, Or
This a REALLY humorous journalist !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm an English learner, and this article is " a cutting edge" to me. Thank you very much!
adam , Brussels, Belgium
Hi Jeremy,
Id happily be your new little man, I have all the information you could ever need! Nice review.
Lee Whitehouse, Cannock (Unfortunately), Staffordshire
I'm just always blown away when I hear a 1.5 liter engine is bigger than normal.
But I'm always just as blown away when I hear that cars there cost 2x as much as here, and gasoline 3x...
Gustav, Newport Beach, USA / California
Your EDGE APN is Internet, your username is web and your password is web. You don't need VPN. I need a Daihatsu Materia.
ScottF, Belfast,
Some confusion as to whether the iphone is any good.
Leroy, London, uk
It’s amazing what Toyota designers can come up with using a T-square. And a set square. Armed with only straight lines, they can build a car that actually has the character of Darth Vader’s helmet (or, on reflection, Rick Moranis’s Dark Helmet helmet from Spaceballs).
Jack Yan, Wellington, New Zealand
Clarkson, what were you smoking when you looked at this car? Over here in the States we've got this one badged as the Scion xB, a "youth-oriented" car that is supposed to make you "cool" or "hip" or something. I'm 21 and even I don't understand it...
Unless there was some magic passed over this car on its way to Europe, I don't see what the hubbub is about with the interior. The plastics are some of the cheapest bits I've seen in a new car since the Koreans figured out how to build them properly. The seats are too high and too flat to be really comfortable, and even worse, who in the right mind wants the speedo/tach six inches from the window in the center of the dash?
Be happy yours isn't saddled with the 2.4L four-pot we have here. The fuel economy is absolutely dismal for a car that size, and even with the rather low sticker price, I couldn't justify a purchase of this car even with the Clarkson stamp of approval. Any worse and you'd have a '82 Volkswagen Rabbit diesel.
Brad Y, Grand Rapids, US / Michigan