Jeremy Clarkson
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From The Sunday Times
March 11, 2007
Lamborghini Murciélago LP640
Mad, bad and utterly wonderful to know
An alarming e-mail has just arrived from the public relations department at Honda. It says I recently test drove the new Legend and wonders when my review might appear in The Sunday Times.
This is all frightfully embarrassing because I can’t recall a single thing about it. It was a car. It came to my house. I drove it for a week. And then it was taken away. I remember it in the same way that I remember a single childhood sneeze — ie, I don’t remember it at all.
My wife says I came back from one drive in it moaning about the positioning of the headlamp switch, but she can’t remember what was wrong with it, or why we’d become so starved of normal conversation that I’d even brought it up.
It must, therefore, be an ideal car for those who’ve had Vauxhall Corsas all their lives and have now won the pools. You can continue to demonstrate your complete lack of interest in all things motoring with the more expensive and presumably larger Legend — and it will not annoy you in any way, except perhaps for the headlamp switch. Although we can’t be sure about that.
What I can be sure about is that the Legend is not alone. I’ve just been through my diary and it seems there are hundreds of other cars that have left no stain on my memory banks at all.
Only last week, while preparing a Top Gear item on affordable hatchbacks, I had to say to a researcher: “What is my opinion of the Renault Clio?” Happily, from his point of view, an archive of road tests on Times Online was able to provide an answer.
But now, a week on, I’m afraid it’s gone again. I either liked it very much, or I hated it. And I’m damned if I can remember which.
Then you have the Ford Galaxy. Apparently, I drove one two months ago, for seven days, and all I can recall is that it had stupidly hard seats. Engine? Space? Price? Sorry. It’s all a blank.
Strangely, when I first started writing about cars — or carts as they were called back then — I never forgot a thing. What’s more, I can still recall the “feel” of the engine cut-out switch in the Fiat Regata ES, and the exact lilac colour of the front seats in the Renault Fuego turbo.
So why can’t I remember modern cars? Well, put simply, they don’t have lilac seats or pointless cut-out switches. Many, I’m afraid to say, are nothing more than white goods.
If you go back to a time when buyers could choose between a Golf GTI and a Ford Escort RS2000, the differences between them were huge. Rear-wheel drive versus front-wheel drive. Carburettor versus fuel injection. Hatchback versus saloon. Tennis racket headrest inserts — I even remember that — versus the golf ball gearknob.
Now, though, if you step from the current Golf GTI into, say, a hot Renault Mégane, it’s no longer like moving through a wormhole in the space-time continuum. The only way you’ll find any differences at all is by burrowing into the brochures and examining the pricing of extras. This is not an interesting way of passing the time.
My worry is that if car makers don’t start putting a bit of soul and flair and engineering panache back into their cars — and I’m excluding Alfa Romeo and Citroën from this, because they do — pretty soon, motoring will cease to be something that’s fun.
And when that happens, you’ll not be comparing Volkswagens with Renaults. You’ll be comparing “the car” with “public transport”. And as often as not, you’ll find that “public transport” is cheaper and more convenient.
I remarked recently in these pages that a VW Golf GT had failed to make the journey from London to Cornwall anything more than a chore. It didn’t soothe, or excite, or do any of the things that a car must do if it’s to be something more than a personal transportation module.
And now we have the Honda Legend, a car so forgettable I can’t remember a single thing about it. Why use that for the drive into London when the train is faster, you don’t have to park it, you don’t have to pay a congestion charge, and you can while away the journey with your nose in Private Eye?
What’s more, the train might crash, which is a better foundation on which to build a conversation with your wife that night than the positioning of your Honda’s headlamp switch.
This brings us, of course, to the curious scissor door of the Lamborghini Murciélago LP640 — a car some of you may remember was featured on Top Gear recently. Unfortunately, a monstrous pressure on time that week meant the review was rather truncated, so I’d like to fill in the gaps here.
It is an astonishing car, this. Fitted with an enlarged 6.5 litre V12 engine, it develops a massive 495 carbon dioxides and that means the top speed is 211mph. On the short Top Gear runway, I had it up to an indicated 207, which is faster than any other car has managed.
So yes, the power and the noise that goes with it mean you are never likely to forget even the shortest drive. That’s good. But the main reason this car is so memorable comes when you get to a corner.
It’s fitted with a four-wheel-drive system that feeds the power to whichever axle is best able to use it. Fine, but it’s such a dim-witted set-up that you’re usually going backwards before it’s noticed the rear has lost traction and that it might be a good idea to shove some oomph up front.
Or, it decides that the rear could well lose traction due to the angle of the steering wheel and the speed, and feeds most of the power to the front. And any attempt to unstick the back with a boot full of power just means more and more understeer.
I couldn’t help wondering what this car might be like if it had a basic, rear-drive set-up. Lighter, for sure, and therefore faster too. Yes, in the rain, there might be a smidgeon less grip but, to balance that, it would be a lot more predictable. Better, in other words.
Audi, which has owned Lamborghini for nine years now, has tried to make the cars less wild and mad. You can see that in the styling, and in the headroom, but this handling quirk means it’s still far too much of a handful to be taken seriously as a driver’s car.
And that’s wonderful. Ferrari makes driver’s cars, machines for the terminally earnest. Lambo should be making stuff that puts a smile on your face, even when it’s standing still.
Even though I have ordered a Gallardo Spyder, I’m the first to admit it’s not quite as good as an F430 round a track. It’s less delicate. Less poised. But as a car, a mad, expensive, preposterous waste of money, the sheer force of its personality knocks the techno-Ferrari into a cocked hat.
This is why I still love the LP640. It’s flawed. It’s silly. It’s got a four-wheel-drive system that doesn’t really work, a sat nav screen that’s been put in place with hammers, and a steering wheel that’s coated in what appears to be a black version of Top Gear dog. Technically, it’s not even as good, I should imagine, as the new Honda Legend. But when it comes to memorable times, do you opt for dinner with a chartered accountant or Lemmy out of Motörhead?
Lamborghini is at the cutting edge of everything that makes cars interesting and exciting and wonderful. And we have to love it for that.
Vital statistics
Model Lamborghini Murciélago LP640
Engine 6496cc, 12 cylinders
Power 631bhp @ 8000rpm
Torque 487 lb ft @ 6000rpm
Transmission Six-speed paddleshift
Fuel 13.2mpg (combined cycle)
2058mm CO2 495g/km
Acceleration 0-62mph: 3.4sec
Top speed 211mph
Price £190,000
Rating 4/5
Verdict Flawed genius
Just had the pleasure of following an '07 plate LP640 roadster down a local (v.fast) dual-carriageway. Sounded like an earthquake when it came by me and shot off into the distance like nothing else I'd ever seen. Caught it up at the next roundabout (admittedly, he did get held up a bit) and stuck to the Lambo's tail through the left-right-left. Chappy eyeballed me in his mirror and booted it (lots more noise confirmed he really was trying) but he didn't really get much distance on me and on the next roundabout I had to brake more than I wanted to to avoid swapping insurance details with him. He (briefly) looked even more perturbed this time and committed himself (and his de rigeur blonde passenger) to a do-or-die artic convoy overtake which I didn't really fancy emulating. My car? Bog stock '00 2.7 Boxster which probably cost the same as a set of new tyres and a service for a Murc. I bet I felt a lot better about our brief encounter than he did.
Steve, Peterborough, UK
I've switched to an Austin Mini 1000, for everything else - public transport.
Max, Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Spain
Hi, I am with Jeremy on Alfas of course - I am addicted to them and have the rare distinction of owning the only 164 T/spark cloverleaf in NZ - and love the descriptions of the LP640. I'd buy one
And I'd buy a Gallardo (though perhpas not the roadster) with nary a whimper too if I ever had the cash.
One thing never to have is regret - Jeremy had an original 1970's GTV6 and I've had one too - so go Lambo and reminisce when you have no teeth !
Martin La Grange, Auckland, New Zealand
I find it odd that Jeremy should order a Gallardo Spider after knocking the Ferrari spiders for so long. Perhaps he now realises that the directness of the experience, the sound of the engine, the "Mille Miglia" feeling far makes up for any minor sacrifice in chassis stifness. I rather think that he will soon tire of the squat shape of the Gallardo once he´s had it on his driveway a good time, and of the Audi switchgear and the dreadfully low nose which crashes in car park ramps and speed bumps. Yes, there is only one real italian supercar out there - Forza Ferrari!
David Smith "Pitlane", Madrid, Spain
I agree with you completely that modern cars are becoming more and more boring to drive. Apart from a Maserati and some Fiats, my private cars have all been Alfa Romeo's and although they may not be perfect at least they make me want to drive them. The non-Alfa company cars I have had (Passat, Zafira and other audi's) were all big disappointments and were close tot automotive horror on the enjoyablilty to drive scale. This year I opted not to have a company car and bought myself an Alfa GTV to go to work. At least the road to and from work is now something to look forward to.
Wim, Herentals, Belgium
You people are seriously st*p*d, you just don't get lambos, after all this years you'd think every one that calls him/her self a petrol head would know what a lambo is about, they are hyper cars not drivers cars the great think about lambo (and also what made Porsche a legend int he early years) is that if you aren't a great driver you're better of, the people that understand lambos are like the guys in Hawaii that risk their lives surfing monster waves in Pipeline or in Waiamea, they are looking for a rush, they want to feel they've cheated death it's exactly the same with lambos.
Carlos, Tepic, Mexico
http://www.lambounfall.de/lamborghini_murcielago_crash.html
(read it all, not just the owners personal experiences at the top of the page - it looks very much as if this 'memorable' Lambo has issues other than careless owners...)
Is THIS the sort of memorabilia you are seeking Jeremy?
Or does it simply illustrate that even German ownership of an Italian manufacturer can't tame Italian standards of construction and quality control?
Chris, Hastings,
What would be a car to remember and not costing more than a house......?
Cor, Deventer, The Netherlands
Very good and more than a fast car, but I would like to see Ferrari 599GTB on that track I think it is even faster.
Ivan, Sibenik,
The most 'fun to drive' car I've owned was a 1960 TR-3; marvelously impractical for North Dakota winters, and putting up the top in a driving rain was sheer joy. We now have a 2007 Honda Fit, which is nearly as much fun to drive, and the top already is up. Wish we could afford the Lambo, tho....
Ed Saugstad, Sinks Grove, WV, USA
What about the Reliant Robin?
med, houston, USA / texas
....And we have to love it for that....
Oh believe me I do !! I do love it :) Lambo is great.. Maybe I will be able to buy one in the <nearest> future :)
Maja, Lodz, Poland
Felix, I agree that the beetle might be fun to drive and that most cars nowadays are dull, do all the work for you, but I hated that VW cos it was SUPER slow, I have a 98hp VW Pointer (gol) which is as austere as my tshirts...at least has some decent things like power steering but it has it all kept simple, I love it for that, a lot more fun to let me do (almost) all the work..jeez I hate the new transmission trend, why does everbody want to poduce a car that does auto shifts, where's the passion?..ah yeah, excuse those "enthusiasts" that can have semi-auto shifts..now those are "real" men...sure.
Also Felix, your car is very appreciated in Mexico...as wel built 'em all!..we all got nice stories about it.
Wolfgang, Mexico City, Mexico
I had a Triumph Herald soft top where the steering wheel was connected to the wheels by extra sensory perception, and when it rained the water came in throught the roof. I loved that car and sold it for a song. Probably worth a lot more now
neil, Bangkok, Thaialnd
Pretty much every car sold in the United States today is completely devoid of soul. Our version of the Honda Civic look pretty much like the last one, the same with the Focus (and we don't even get the ST).
Having said that, there are come cars here that are that little bit special, like my old VW Beetle. It's 20 years older than me. It was rescued from a ditch. Every single thing about it is wrong: engine in the back, fuel tank in the front, battery under the seat-but it's all by design! There's no power steering, no ABS, no traction control, but somehow it manages to be the most fun thing to drive in the world.
And it makes small children smile.
Felix, California,
Very nice car, but for the european roads only... In our city you will not ride more than one meter by this car... :-))
Alexey, Vladivostok,
Well I wouldn't swap the Lambo for my Corrado VR6. It's old and a pain sometimes (the ECU is tempermental as anything, it leaks and the wipers are as feeble as my granny tossing the caber) but when I put my foot down the old girl is a total hoot. All you have to do is fit a sports exhaust and a RamAir filter and it sounds like a fighter plane on afterburner as you hit the powerband. As Top Gear itself recommended a couple of series ago, if you can't afford a supercar, try a Corrado VR6, it's cheap-ish and will be a classic (they only made 7,000 in RHD ever). Over and out - Poop Poop Brum Brum etc.
Chris, Caerdydd, Wales, Drunk
On the boringness of cars today: I have the same problem with mid-sized rental cars. I find myself driving round the M25 from Heathrow and wonder what I am driving (although jet-lag might also have something to do with it). Sometimes I don't even notice whether I'm driving in the left-hand seat or the right-hand seat - in the 1960/70s there were huge differences between Britain and Europe in the position of of windscreen wiper controls, indicators and the gear positions.
I remember in my early years of driving how we had to relearn everything with each car: from the Austin 1100 in which I passed the test in 1965 to my first car, a second-hand (15 pounds) Wolseley 6/90 - not to mention the difficulty in starting a 1934 Rolls which a friend later bought.
william dunn, Beijing, China
I fly a spitfire,drive a Ford Ka(with bits missing)One is better then the other-guess which.
Tim Newman, Solihull, UK
I moved a Lamborghini the other day, it was my electricians! He obviously charges too much! I was terrified, i had to put it in a space and I was certain I'd hit the car or even the wheels. Great car, I just wouldn't be brave enough to drive one. However, I borrowed my boss's Audi Q7 this weekend, now that is car I would love to own. Environment - who cares, size - who cares! It has been a while since I've found a car I'd like, meanwhile we'll plod along in our ageing ML!!
Bettsy, Taunton, Somerset
Jonathan, yes these cars have airbags... you can even switch the passenger bag off so transporting kids is safe, even though it's hardly practical...!
But that was never the designer's aim, and it shows...! It's awkward in city agglomerations, especially speedbumps and parking garages are a total nightmare because of it's width (you'll hit the sidepots before hitting a curb with the wheel...). And its ground clearance means getting over speedbumps is pretty bad too, despite the system to raise the front a little for doing so.
For hauling kids and shopping... get another car, no matter how big the urge to show off. For any other occasion... oh yes.
Pol, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Will both Ken Livingstone and London Borough of Richmond-upon-Thames give us credit if we buy the cleaner a smart car and only drive the Cayman and GranSport at weekends?
Richard, Barnes,
My neighbour has a Gallardo Spyder and the noise it makes is awesome.
Here in Tokyo, I've realised that I can get as much enjoyment from sitting outside one of the cafes and watching all the supercars pass by, as owning one.
james, tokyo,
'Murcielago' is Spanish for 'can I have a lift back home?'
Frank Upton, Solihull,
I used to go to an exclusive gym in London and someone once parked a Lamborghini outside with a baby chair in the passenger seat! A bizarre way to transport your baby, expecially as what should have been the rear seats was all engine. Do those things have air bags?
Jonathan Lowenstein, tel-aviv, Israel
great article! and i'm so jealous of jeremy................ he can order whatever car he wants, change it at will, write reviews absolutely no info--- and still make it an incredible read.... he hosts top gear...... even his stupid jokes are funny... and he claims he doesnt have any great degree... aaahhh..... some people are just born the way they are...
Hari, Chennai, India
That's why i use an Honda S2000 and a lightened Honda CRX coupe' vtec.
Bmw z4 3000 may be a better refined car compared to s2000, and golf GTI surely il a better car overall compared to the little CRX.
But when it comes to DRIVE, my old Honda are top notch
:-)
PAOLO, BERGAMO, ITALY
I was also wondering whether to get a Ferrari F430 or this new Lambo. Difficult choice. In fact, I found it so difficult, I eventually opted for a W reg. Fiat Punto, 1.2, 16 Valve, ELX (meaning comfy headrests x 2). It may not have many BHP, or big brakes, or look that good. Basically, it's pretty crap, but the point is, it has character. No, it doesn't have that either. God, I made a bad decision.
Josh Hubbard, Leicester, UK
Had my first (and probably last) ride in a Gallardo today, a friend of a friend offered whilst we were fundraising for the ZBall Rally, a tour of Europe from Stoke (yes, really) to Monaco and home via Modena and Florence in 15 twenty year old Nissan Z somethings, with about 1 million miles on them - doing this in aid of the Douglas MacMillan Hospice in Stoke.
But back to the Lambo, what an experience - I've heard Clarkson banging on for years about "savagery of the ride, accelaration" etc. but now believe him. If you get a chance pop across to www.zballrally.co.uk and get your wallets out!
Steve Silk, Stoke on Trent, Staffordshire
For those of us who can't afford a Lambo motoring still doesn't have to be boring. I recently bought an 18 month old smart forfour. I think it is a brilliant little car, I really do. OK, new and full price it did seem to be a tad expensive for what you 'appeared' to get. The word 'appeared' is really important because if people looked carefully they would see what a well specified and excellent little car it is. It also has character by the bucketful and makes me smile every time I drive it. Minis are so common and only have two doors and are cramped in the back, Honda Jazz also common, Yaris the same, etc etc. Sadly it would seem that many folks 'play it safe' buying cars everyone else drives. So, due to poor sales Merc' have killed the forfour off. Pity. It will be a sad day when all cars look the same and are just boxes to get us from a to b. Well, I could have bought a boring supermini... and a pipe, slippers and a cardigan, but I didn't, I bought a forfour and I LOVE IT!
KAW, Newton Abbot, Devon
I saw my 1st Gallardo today, a Spyder in metallic "go away" orange. I also heard it, an experience I shall cherish for quite some time. No matter that you can't open the boot to look at the engine without 1st raising the roof or that it barely clears the local speedbumps, it is simply glorious.
As for big Hondas & Golf 5 GTIs, I neither know nor care when I last saw 1. Which is as it should be for if I cared about mundane cars I'd have no vocabulary left for the Gallardo & that would be tragic.
Tony Webb, Bayreuth, Germany
I still rather have a Diablo VT Roadster
Sean, Laguna Beach, California
I in the long run suppose we should all be pleased that the automotive art has reached a point where the basics are so consistently right that we can now revel in the flaws.
That wasn't always so. Once, so many cars had such serious flaws that the Japanese thrived by ironing out every single flaw. Now, nobody has serious flaws.
Maybe Jeremy's onto something here. Celebrate your flaws.
AMcA, Chicago , US, Illinois
My Accord is quick and reliable, and faster than my fiesta. But I want one too one day. Note, 'one day' is the key. What would we dream and aspire too if it were not for the super car and lear jet?
Honda Accord Owner , Sydney, NSW Australia
I want one.
Honda Accord owner, Yuba City, CA, USA
Having a motoring critic who 'forgets' to write-up his experience with a car hundreds of thousands of people are considering buying; and fills his column instead with a haiograpghy to a car only a few City traders (and overpaid motoring journalists) will buy, is a nonsense. It's like having a film critic who refused to write about films on general release, only those at the Turkish language Film Festival.
Yeah Jeremy, hugely expensive and fast cars are exciting and wonderful - especially when you don't have to pay to run them and you have your own private airfield to use to fool about in them. So tell us something we don't know.
Ford Galaxy's are not exciting, but 99.9% of us don't have the choice and chosing a 'boring' car is a bid decision for lots of people. What are you gonna tell us next week, having your own helicopter is a lot better than a boring Mondeo?
C G Nugent, London,
It's getting near time to replace my car. It's a 1991 Audi 20Valve Avant, and I love it completely. It's getting pretty old now, and soon it won't pass safety inspection. The trouble is that there is absolutely nothing that is remotely interesting being produced to replace it with. Everything is a variation of a Toyota Camry or a Honda Accord. Even Mercedes look like their cars came from Japan, and BMWs look like someone stayed far too long in front of a computer game. Maybe I'll just buy a truck.
Roger, Trenton, Maine, USA
I agree, years ago people asked which car was best to drive, nowadays cars are so boring the only reason you choose one car over another is price and what extras you can get out of the dealer.
tucker, scunthorpe,
Completely agreed.
At age 36 now, I lament where all the exciting and fun to drive vehicles have gone. Growing up in the 70s and 80s, I got to work on virtually everything, from pre-war Packards, to fastback Mustangs, MGs, Triumphs. Each year expecting things to get even cooler, even more fun.
But no. Japan's designs went from wild (Toyota 2000) to uhm. Well. We'll do our best to not let even the trim offend. Nissan had something of a resurgence from 1991 to 1994 with the fun 300ZX and Lotus-Cortina-ish Sentra, but then it all went in the tank. VW went from athletic to Porky, to something.
The biggest detriment ever invented was the Expert System. Rather than having to learn to drive, or learn a musical instrument, an art, people took and created systems that 'contained' all of the knowledge that top drivers and such had. How to brake. How to correct a skid. All of that got stuffed into a black box, leaving you as the designated Idiot who simply 'doesn't know better'. How Boring.
James, New York, USA