Iconic Films

2 for 1 tickets to Casablanca, this coming Monday

Navigation - link to other main sections from here

Skip Navigation

From The Sunday Times

August 12, 2007

Mercedes-Benz CL 600

Silence, please, for a new king of the road

Jeremy Clarkson

When you go to buy a new car, you will be greeted by a salesman who has a ghastly suit and an unusual haircut. He will begin by indulging in a spot of reflexive-pronoun abuse and then he will offer yourself a list of juicy options that will enhance your motoring pleasure.

It’s delicious agony, running down the possibilities, wondering what sort of satellite navigation you will need, whether the extra expense of 20in wheels is worth it, and exactly what sort of cow you’d like to have killed to make the seats.

Eventually you will have balanced your natural instinct to splash out with the needs of your family to eat, and you’ll present the salesman with the completed form. But frankly, you may as well give him a box of frogs for all the good it does.

“Yes,” he’ll say, “it is possible to make the car you want, in the colour you’ve chosen, with seats covered in the skin of a cow called Brian. But not this year. Or next.

“However, if your good self can’t wait that long, myself happens to have a car in stock, which is similar to the one you’ve ordered . . . except for the size of the engine, the sort of fuel it runs on, the fact that it has no sat nav, has an automatic gearbox and it’s pink.”

Naturally, you will leap at the chance because you are all excited, which means you will spend the next three years driving round in something close to what you wanted. Which is another way of saying “something you didn’t want at all”.

No, really. Buying a blue diesel estate when you wanted a grey petrol saloon is the same as booking a holiday in the Dominican Republic. And then going to Haiti because the flight leaves 10 minutes earlier. It’s like falling in love with a house and then buying the one next door.

I’d love, at this point, to lay into car makers, telling them to buck up their ideas, but sadly there’s no point. Let’s take Mercedes as an example. Currently they can offer you a massive range of cars, each of which is available with a choice of trim levels and engine sizes. I’ve done a quick head count and, amazingly, your local Mercedes dealer is able to offer around 300 different models.

And now it gets tricky because, on average, each of those models is available in a choice of 10 colours. So now it’s 3,000 models, and that’s before you get to the colour of the interior trim.

Mercedes is famously mean-spirited in this respect, and once you’ve chosen a colour for the body you only get about five choices for the colour of the seats and carpets. Even so, that means we’re now up to 15,000 different models, each of which is available as a manual or an automatic. So that’s 30,000 then, and each of those is available with probably 50 different options. The result is that Mercedes-Benz is able to offer you 1.5 million different permutations of one car.

Not that long ago Mercedes announced they were going to extend their range of saloons and estates to “make something for everyone”. I didn’t realise at the time that they were being Germanically literal. They could make 1.5m cars and no two would be the same. Which is why, I’m afraid, it takes an age for you to choose the right model. And even longer to get it trimmed, painted and specced to your precise requirements.

I can’t speed up the Stuttgart production lines, but happily I can at least steer you through the maze that is the brochure. So here goes. What you do is buy a gunmetal-grey Mercedes-Benz CL with a black interior.

The CL is a coupé version of the S-class and must not be confused with the CLK, which is a two-door version of the old C-class, or the CLS, which is a cut-down amalgamation of the E-class and the S-class.

Because it is a two-door coupé version of the S-class, the CL is meant to be quiet and comfortable. It is also fitted with a Rolls-Royce-style column-operated gearshifter, which gives you the relaxing options of backwards, forwards or parked. And because of all this pillowy smoothness and mattress simplicity, it wouldn’t really suit Merc’s magnificent but shouty 6.2 litre V8 engine.

And nor should you go for the entry-level V8, because nothing says a man has failed in life quite so well as a 500 badge on the back of his Mercedes. Apart, perhaps, from a Porsche Boxster. This is Premium Economy spec; it signifies you are clinging to respectability at the golf club by a mere thread.

So, you cannot have a V8, which means it must be a V12. It’d be tempting, I’m sure, to go for the 65, the most powerful engine in the world until Bugatti came along with the Veyron. It has so many torques you can light up the rear tyres so violently, they will actually dig holes in the road. I know this because I’ve done it. The power is stratospheric, atomic, and if I’m honest a bit idiotic.

That leaves you with the normal 600, a 5.5 litre, twin-turbo 12-pot that makes exactly the same amount of noise as the crowd at a five-day cricket match – ie, none at all. Well, actually, not none exactly. If you listen very, very hard you can sometimes hear it snoring. And that means it’s ideally suited to the smooth suspension and the waftmatic gearshifter. Driving it is like lying in a vat of baby oil, dreaming that you can fly.

Until you put your foot down. There’s still no noise, and that’s spooky because suddenly the view out of the window has gone all bonkers and you are overtaking light aircraft. It is properly fast, the CL 600. Even though it weighs 2.1 tons it will get you from 0 to 60mph, silently, in just 4.5sec.

Being overtaken in this is like being overtaken by a ghost. You sense a blur and you feel the air move. But that’s it.

I absolutely adored driving this car. It was a new experience – power without sound – but the thing I loved most of all was the way it looked.

They’ve tried to ape the shape of the old model’s sublime rear window – and failed badly – but the rest . . . oh my God, it’s gorgeous. The balance, the flared wheelarches and the nose. Holy cow. This has the best nose on any car ever made.

It does not, however, have the best ride. Naturally, it has air suspension, not because air suspension works better than coils and springs and dampers but because it allows the computer geeks in Merc’s underground design bunkers to fiddle about with their laptops, making it move the car about as the speed and driving style change.

In theory it’s brilliant. In practice, it doesn’t work. And it really didn’t work in the CL I drove. It felt, sometimes, like I was on a water bed and I simply don’t believe it’s supposed to be that way. I honestly think there was a small fault in the system. And that’s good, because it means I can ring Mercedes-Benz with a perfect excuse to borrow another 600 CL for a week. Or two, just to be sure.

Price? Well, the 600 CL costs £107,097, which is known in banking circles as a very great deal of money. It puts the CL in the same 2+2 marketplace as the Bentley Continental, as well as offerings from Porsche, Aston Martin and Maserati.

As a badge, the three-pointed star sits among this lot like a branch of Marks & Spencer on Bond Street. But the simple fact of the matter is this. As a car, it beats all of them. By a country mile.

Vital statistics

Model Mercedes-Benz CL 600

Engine 5513cc, 12 cylinders

Power 517bhp @ 5000rpm

Torque 612 lb ft @ 3500rpm

Transmission Five-speed automatic

Fuel 19.8mpg

Acceleration 0-62mph: 4.6sec

CO2 340g/km

Top speed 155mph

Price £107,097

Rating 1871mm

Verdict A silver ghost in Merc clothing

I have the now old style CL600, and I was eagerly wating to see how Merc could improve on such a car (that back window still amazes with its unlikely beauty). However, as nice as the new CL is from SOME angles, I can't help but feel undeniably disappointed. If it wasn't for its size, it would look so 'ordinary' for a 'special' car. What they did with the CLS was impressively different and the new C-Class is strikingly new compared to the old one. But the new CL is a bit... boring, although tastefully so. And it's no beauty from behind. The outgoing CL raised the bar far higher in its time than the current CL does now. Granted, it looks far better on the road than it does in the showroom, so perhaps it'll grow on me in time and at some point in the future I'll stand back and say the Merc designers were right after all. If not, I'll have to wait another decade to see if I can't feel the same way about seeing a CL for the first time as I felt when I first saw the outgoing CL.

Bali Rakhra, Glasgow,

I used to love Mercedez Benz cars, they demonstarted a unique classic line which you could drive for years without it feeling dated. Sadly, those days are long gone. M-B launches another new car - I should be excited but it makes me feel very sleepy and bored. The car cost Â£107,000 appx - within 3 years it will be worth Â£20k and that is 3 years of boring driving too. Hold their value - not a chance. Have fun in M-B - not a chance? At least when I review the BMW line - there are still cars I would love to drive which they made 10 years ago - shame their dealrships are so arrogant. With this type of car and cost it should inspire kids to have posters up on walls in their bedroom - not a chance. I am sorry but the car just makes me feel very sad.

David, London, UK

I don't know how many Chrysler marketing types got to run the show at Benz, if any, but if one postive thing emerged from the takeover, it was that M-B learned how to make a working air conditioner that continues to work for a few years. Thank you Chrysler, and thanks for the cupholders, too, our other salvation while stuck in daily gridlock.

Chuck, Jacksonville,

Gilligirl, is your view being hindered by the controversial X-type, small saloon Jaguar which is in fact based on the last Mondeo? All others are independent models as far as I am aware, and the new XF (have you seen it?) is probably the first to completely leave behind traditional Jaguar-ishness, styling-wise at least. Thank goodness, many would say.

Richard, London,

I am quite pleased to see JC's review on the CL and agree totally with him. Except the nose, because I don't think it has the best nose ever...the Alfa Romeo Brera instantly creeps to mind. However, as JC said, it is a brilliant car.
In reply to some otehr comments, I disagree that a stupid Lexus LS is better than a Mercedes S-Class. A diesel S-Class is as refined as a petrol LS; it's just as comfortable as the LS but much better to drive; has a bigger boot, great style, space, technology, economy...well done Mercedes-Benz! You are finally reaching the unbeatable standards like old times and showing the world how mistaken it is.

Christian Galea, Naxxar, Malta,

Well, Richiboy, in case of Ford that's true. The last Saabs were all based on an Opel Vectra, and I think the new Jaguar-models have nothing to do with the classics...

Smart isn't Mercedes, that's right, maybe because it was a completely new carsize they had do dev

Gillian, Genf,

Switzerland.... What world famous car companies have you come up with over the decades? Hmm... I'm having trouble thinking.

I'm sure you are aware this is not a question of different names for identical products. It is a case of a company being the 'parent' of another. You are wrongly assuming because a car company uses the cash of another it makes it a pure bred, in this case, Ford. It does not at all. Would you go around saying you drove a Mercedes-Benz if you had a Smart car? No, I didn't think so. You would be technically wrong and people would laugh at you.

Richard, London,

London...Ã„hhh, Richard. You're right, it is not a Ford, it is called 'Jaguar'. And Saab Saab. And Opel Vauxhall where you live. But it is all the same.

Gillian, Genf, Schweiz

Gillian. Ford owns Jaguar at the moment for sure, but this in no way means that the XK is in any way, shape or form, a Ford.

Richard, London,

Well, Richard, do you really think a Ford in a 'modern'-stylish body could anything from Mercedes or BMW?

Gillian, Genf, Schweiz

Please, Jeremy, are you telling us this is better than the Jag XKR you reviewed in the last series of Top Gear? You said at the time that the Jag "beats anything from Mercedes and BMW". Does this still hold up?

Richard A J, London, UK

Richard A J, London,

Rich, London,

Well, Mr."Omokanye" from England, The BMW 7-series is more quiet than the Lexus LS, the Mercedes is more quiet in the backseats than the BMW and LS. That's measured. The LS is quieter only at small numbers of revolutions.

Valentin, Hamburg, Germany

John from New Forest, do not practice your ''pajjero'' pronunciation with spanish-speaking people around... this name is a perfect example of auto marketing gurus gone silly... they chose the name for its tex-mex, ''frontier'' kind of associations, without realizing that in, in the language they chose the name from, in reality they were calling the car errrr.... how may I say it.... ''he who often indulges in lonely self-gratification''; of course I know the six-letter word equivalent in plain english.

AsI said, another good example of poor marketing; and I was one of them for quite a while, so I know what I am talking about.

Btw, anytime any dealer offers you to bring the car you really want (more or less) all the way from Inverness, pls do not be fooled by images of luxury, velvet-cushioned car platforms gliding south; they are always driven by an apprentice mechanic, with the mileage meter disconnected, and then hastily cleaned and made up (in case there are any tiny scratches

jorge, teruel, spain

Mister Salmon Omokanye,

the engine, in the s-class (of which the CL is the coupÃ©-version, is exactly quiet as the Lexus LS-engine. It's measured seriously. Only the BMW 7series is more quiet.

Gillian, Genf, Schweiz

Yawn. If I had a choice of wildly excessive cars and I had to choose one, then a DBS/DBR9 would do the job. But let's face it, people who spend this sort of cash on a car are generally lacking in good judgement, and are frequently identified as such by the appalling standard of driving they demonstrate. A good driving car can be bought for a fraction of the price of this tasteless status symbol - and frankly, the fewer dim-witted, middle-aged, high speed, armoured-tank-clad posers I have to encounter, the better.

Rich, Ascot,

The street prestige of big Mercs is forever outstanding but the engine has never ever been as quiet as the Lexus LS, arguably the best luxury car.

Dr Salmon Omokanye, Worksop., England

Clarkson ? where can i start, he speaks the truth, he speaks what other people are afraid to. SHOULD BE PM!!!!

Top gear, one of the good shows left on telly ! (The polar special was awesome!), i agree, someone i know has the SL600 Bi-Turbo, very good cars, and almost, and very nearly almost, silent !

KEEP IT UP, ONE OF THE SANE PEOPLE WHO CANNOT STAND POLICTICAL CORRECTNESS !! Keep up the good work !

Jack, Age 14, Truro, Cornwall

i wouldnt sell the wife for one as i could not get enough money for her
and please dont show her this or i will need a comfy mercedes seat to sit on (did i say sit)

Glynn, Redruth, Cornwall

These cars have real presence on the road. On paper the design is nothing to write home about but when you see one on the road or parked up they do look really beautiful, and thats coming from a BMW man! At 107k though, I'm not so sure, surely it would have to be an Aston, Porsche or Masserati at that price....

Rak, London,

Obviously, Jeremy Clarkson is on holiday and this is a spoof revue by some non-entity.
There is a distinct lack of Clarkson humour throughout and as for this car having "the best nose on any car ever made", what a ridiculous statement. Is it possibly A A Gill filling in for his mate and being confused by the wine he's drinking ?
Of course if I'm wrong (highly unlikely!) - Jeremy you need a well-earned holiday.

JC, London,

Jeremy (and all other overpaid people). I love your column and your TV stuff, but in today's UK driving conditions, what is the point of a Mercedes? You could give the Â£100k or so overpayment to some good cause and buy a car that goes well enough as it can in this beloved country. You could spend about Â£50 to have a sticker saying "I can afford a Mercedes" or similar and paste it on the boot - or on your driver's hat. Please don't grow up (yet) but get real one day and recognise that you are entertaintment, not a serious car reviewer.

From a happy Peugeout 407 owner

Gordon, Woking, UK

The CL600 does not have an air suspension. Airmatic is relegated to the lowly V8 and unspeakably baser models in the S line. All CLs and V12s and AMG S models have ABC, which is the hydraulic active supension.

It works quite well. While it is unable to repeal any law of physics, it makes the car more agile than it has any business being. It also allows it to corner with a lack of body roll that is eerily unnatural for a car this large.

The theorized fault in the test car seems likely.

PS. Believe it or not, some of us Americans understand M&S/Bond St. irony. We can even spell "theorise" but that would be admitting more than current security regulations recommend.

Martin, California,

Overtaking a light aricraft in a CL 600 is no big deal. I flew a light aricraft once that was going so slow even tractors were overtaking me. Admittedly the wind was blowing 45 - 50 knots and all the flaps were down

Eddie The Aviator, Dublin, Ireland

Obviously americans dont understand your reference to M&S and Bond street

Anthony jackson, Almeria, Spain

But I saw a brand-new convertible Bentley on the road yesterday, right in front of my Prius. Isn't that even higher status than this Mercedes? If so, why buy this one? Anyway, I restrained my urge to ram it and shout "Power to the people!" I wish I had, though.

Mmmmm, Monterey, USA

You've complained about badly done air rides and bad customer service for years-- but apparently still get both. Either the car companies are out to get you, or American isn't the only country with delusional auto execs. Maybe both.

Michael, Pueblo, Colorado, US

Where I live, Mercedes Benz are a dime a dozen. Silicon Valley has more Mercedes than Porsche. So, if you want to be at all distinguished, get a Bentley, or a Maserati Quatraporte or even an inexpensive used Ferrari. When all is said and done, distintiveness is not promoted by lack of rarity and this is the Mercedes' problem at this time, just too many of them, from the cheap 230's to the AMGs, just too many.

John Burke, Santa Cruz, California

I sat in one of these at the Moto Expo at Canary Wharf recently and the quality of the interior trim did, as usual, fail to impress - basically, it feels a bit gimcrack, which is astonishing in a car that's so expensive. I quite like the exterior design, but it isn't beautiful by any stretch of the imagination - but the real kicker is this - if you bought a Bentley or an Aston new, not only would you have a much nicer looking car, but you wouldn't be losing >20k per annum. The CL 600 makes perfect sense if you buy it 3 years old, with 20-30k miles for about Â£45k - even more sense if you buy it six years old for <Â£20k.

David Boughton, London,

Another amusing dig at the Boxster from Jeremy. But is it not time to face the truth? I don't own either, but have had the good fortune to drive both Boxster and 911 a fair bit. The Boxster is the better-balanced handler with only a tad less power in real world terms. Predictable this really, I mean rear-engine versus mid-engine? And at two thirds the price or less. So, surely the Boxster owner is not so much the loser compared with the 911 owner as the wo/man with the slightly bigger brain/slightly smaller obsession with status. Oh, and as for the Merc, is it the Koreans copying Mercedes or Mercedes copying the Koreans?

Jammo100, Geneva,

Did I read it right? Clarkson criticising someone's dress-sense and haircut!!!

eric campbell, harrogate, uk

the millionaires choice, CL600 yes

svenkateshwaran, mumbai, india

Have to say that I can't wait to see the next SL; I think that the CL is an Amazing Boat !!

Gonzalo, Guildford, Surrey

I cannot judge on the way it drives or handles but can sure do on the styling atleast from the pictures. According to me, the looks of this car is no where close to beautiful but very very close to being plain and boring

Jaseem, Chicago, US

That wasn't funny Jezzers, what's up?

Justin, Alford, UK

More less just what happened to me. The Mercedes spec I settled on, quite a normal mix, "wouldn't be possible for at least six months" - the suit then trawled through Merc's stock countrywide on his wurlitzer until he found something just within sight of what I wanted (at another three grand, natch)
In practice you don't order a car, you get one of those already in the country, regardless.

Ted Merry, Esher, UK

Shubbiduab, dab-duab. Today the people know the price of everything, but the value of nothing. Something like that. Nice car.

Valentin, Hamburg, Germany

It may do all the things you say it does - but where is the blow -me-away sheer beauty of design. This will look quite dated in no time at all.

JC, London, UK

the millionaires choice, CL600 yes

svenkateshwaran, mumbai, india

The current Jaguar-models look terrible. When you drive a Jaguar, you feel like a joke, driving a Mercedes makes you feel adult.

Valentin, Hamburg, Germany

Allied to the murder of reflexive pronouns, why do all car marketing departments try to turn the car's name into a proper noun?

E.g. "Avensis [is good...]", "Stilo [is desirable]...".

No. I'm the *customer*. I'll call it "*the* Avensis" if I want to.

And spare me the quasi-foreign pronunciation. If I want to call it "the Pajjjero" with emphasis on the first syllable I will not stand to be corrected by the aforesaid unusual haircut, without a long discussion about whether he should be pronouncing it "pahero".

Thanks to Times Online and Mr Clarkson for the opportunity to reveal my petty side.

Jon, Bransgore, New Forest

Reference Bill from Australia - I've has a new XJ6 and I currently run a 4 yo CL600. There is no comparison. The XJ6's are from the stone age although I quite liked it at the time (1996-99) the CL600 is tops (I had a CL500 prior). I would not spend Â£110,000+ though, will wait a few years. The price will collapse!

Grant, Aviemore, UK

Jeremy, I never thought I would agree with you... but you are spot on on this one. The CL 600 is the car to have - and what a fantastic ride! I know this, because I own one - ;)

Elias, Stevenage, UK

Thanks for reminding me that I is a reflexive pronoun.

What are the chances of getting a CL with the trim/options level you want?

(Please note, I am not a reflexive pronoun!)

Andrew Clarke, London,

its much better looking than the jag xk i would have it compared with the bentley gt. i am a sikh so merc is in my blood

Pav, slough London, england

The looks? It's a Toyota Solara with a star on the front. Nothing like the out-of-this-world model that preceded it.

Gediminas, Vilnius, Lithuania

No mercedes rides as well as an XJ jaguar - the steel version, not the current air suspended aluminium version. Nor will it ever look as good as a Jaguar.

Bill, Canberra, Australia/ACT

I think the entire range of new Mercs is astonishingly beautiful, and of course I'd have the AMG 65 - thank you very much!

As soon as I rob a few banks, mortgage my house, sell the wife and kids to a science lab and embezzle the hell out of this company - that's the one I'll have.

Ryan, Johannesburg, South Africa

The drivingstyle of the CL 600 may be as adorable as Alexis Bledel but the looks kill it. That cut in side, the much to wide radiator grill and the headlights - that have the same problem as the headlights of the S-Class, they look like stolen from the Ford designdepartment - make the CL front look like a pitbull or one of the other ugly, pointless attackdog critters.
Anybody who has the luck beeing stumped not to know with 100000+ pounds he/she just found in the purse is better of with an Aston Martin or Maserati.

Daniel, Hannover, Germany

Well it may well be a great piece of engineering, but its breathtakingly ugly. Jeremy, I think your eyesight is going a bit wonky in your old age. Seriously, it looks like a Hyundai, and if it was, you'd be trashing it. Thats a lot of money for something so tasteless.

Brackie, Melbourne,

Looks much better than the hideous previous CL, but I still wouldn't buy it. Too much of a 'rich grandpa car'

Jarek, ToruÅ„, Poland

Advanced engineering - granted. But gorgeous? Are you serious? from the photo it looks like a Toyota Camry. But coming from someone who loves the style of Renaults, what can you expect?

Dmitry Zakharovic, Taipei, Taiwan

Mercedes' are always the best.

Edmond Williams, Bradford (!),

when,s the diesel version coming out, that,s the one i,m ordering.

michael, paisley, scotland

So, a car with a naff rear window, that does not have the best ride, an air suspension system that does not work and the wrong image for its price...and this is supposed to be the king of the road? I'll have my faultless M&S underwear any day.

Czechmate 1960, St Neots, UK

Mercedes is back in the game!
I missed the days (80s-90s) when the Engineers and designers ran the show, rather than the marketing gurus and the bean counters.
Chyrsler was very nearly the death knell...

Gus, Los Angeles, USA / CA

Grief, I'm glad somebody else has this problem with Mercedes. The missus has had the hump for about 8 months since I walked out of a Merc dealership without the car she'd set her heart on. It was straight out of Mad Max: I had to "Just walk away and the horror will end!" Honestly. The dealer looked like he washed his hair by sticking it in the toilet bowl and flushing, wore a cheap plastic suit and kept calling me 'guv' - normally a one-way ticket to expensive dental work. He kept taking calls on his mobile while we were talking, touching me (another invitation to harm) and managed to suck up about an hour of my life before admitting that he couldn't actually deliver the car I wanted before armageddon (which was approaching rapidly) came. Wierdly, I had an almost identical experience at a BMW dealership. Finally told the missus she's getting a Mondeo and I'd spend the difference on a comfier couch and hookers. We ended up buying a classic '57 SL roadster. Lovely thing but it breaks.

Mike, London,