Jeremy Clarkson
Stories and Songs on today's free French CD, with The Times

I do not like to be late. Actually, that’s not strictly accurate. I don’t know whether I’d like to be late because it’s never happened. And it’s never happened because I usually drive very powerful cars, which means I can always make up the time.
Last week, though, there was a disaster. I’d planned to leave at 11.45am for an appointment in Birmingham. But you know how things are. I couldn’t find my phone charger. I’d lost my house keys. One of the dogs was missing. And did I turn my computer off? I’ll just go and check and Oh Christ, now it’s 11.55.
This would mean averaging 60mph and that’s no bother in a Koenigsegg or a Caparo. But then I opened the front door to find that sitting there, all blue and useless, was a Mazda2. And for that little dollop of extra misery, it wasn’t even the 1.5 version. It was the 1.3, and 1.3 litres, in liquid terms, is barely enough to quench the thirst of a dehydrated man. At a pinch, 1.3 litres might, just, be able to power an egg whisk but for making up time on a trip to Birmingham it’s hopeless.
However, in the course of that journey, I had an epiphany. I was exposed to something cruel and unusual. Something I’ve not experienced for 20 years or more. I believe it’s called the real world.
I’ve often wondered why there are so many people out there who hate cars, who find them noisy, dangerous, antisocial and unbecoming of a civilised state. Some of these people, for sure, have frizzy hair and eat only leaves, but others are, apparently, quite normal.
I can understand they might not find driving fun but I cannot understand why they won’t accept that the car, at the very least, is a useful tool. Or rather, I could not understand until I tried that Mazda.
If you are looking for a small five-door hatchback, there are many reasons why you might be drawn to this car. Unlike anything else I can recall, it is actually smaller than its predecessor. And better still, it is lighter as well. It weighs less than a ton, in fact, which means you will get better fuel economy and more speed. I took a good long look around the cab – God knows there was time – to see if I could work out how this weight had been shed but other than the dash, which looks like it was made by John Noakes, it seems to be just as well equipped and just as robust as any other small car. And just as spacious as well.
What’s more, being a Mazda, its is likely to be reliable. And when you add this to the low group 4 insurance bracket, the £9,999 price tag and the rather cheeky looks, it’s easy to see why those who just want a tool might be tempted by such a thing. As small hatchbacks go, it’s excellent.
But here’s the problem. You see, while this may be the best of breed, it just isn’t good enough for the real world. Coming out of Chipping Norton, on the road to Shipston-on-Stour, there’s a long, slightly uphill straight on which you can overtake the dithering old fool who just spent 20 minutes in the town being confused by the double mini roundabout. And who is now in a such a state of shock, he’s doing 3mph.
Not in a 1.3 litre hatchback you can’t. You drop a cog on the five-speed box, weld your foot to the floor and pull onto the other side of the road . . . where 10 minutes later you can still be found, sweating slightly, as you wonder whether you will get past before the long straight is over, or whether it would be prudent to brake and admit defeat.
Defeat seemed like a good idea. So I eased off, slipped back into the old man’s slipstream and realised, with a heavy heart and sagging shoulders, that in a car such as this, overtaking is not on the menu. And as a result, you are forced to drive everywhere at the same speed as the slowest driver on the road. Often, this stretches the concept of “movement”.
Eventually, and happily, the man in front died – I think he’d grown weary of spending so much time in his own company – and I could open the taps on the little Mazda.
It was horrible. Because it is built to a price, for people who don’t like driving and simply want a tool, everything on it feels cheap and nasty. The electric power steering is too sudden. The suspension is too rubbery. The brakes are too sharp. So even at moderate(ish) speeds, it felt disconnected, unstable and twitchy.
Think of it as a motorway service station sandwich. It was not created to be the best sandwich in the world. The chef had nothing to prove. He simply wanted to offer some of the important food groups for the smallest possible price. There is no truffle oil. There is no homemade cheese. There is absolutely nothing to surprise and delight the enthusiastic motorist who wants something a little bit more than ham made from tyres, butter made from petroleum byproducts, and 129 carbon dioxides to the kilometre. Eventually, after what felt like several months, I reached the motorway and accelerated down the slip road. I had gravity on my side, and 85bhp. This would have been great in 1957 but it sure as hell isn’t enough in 2007 because by the time I reached the main carriageway, I was only doing 50 and that’s too slow to join the inside lane without causing the onrushing lorry to have to brake.
So there I was, sandwiched between a truck full of Polish pies and Eddie Stobart, doing 56 . . . and there was simply no possibility of getting into the middle lane at all. I didn’t have enough oomph to move out because, on the modern motorway, there is always something coming and with only 1.3 litres I couldn’t match its speed before making the manoeuvre.
Small wonder people who buy cars such as this can’t see that driving is useful or fun. It isn’t. It’s either dull or terrifying.
And it gets worse because in Birmingham my car was valet parked in the hotel’s 4m-acre car park by a chap who was a) mildly surprised to see me step from such a thing and b) not on duty when I went to collect it four days later for the journey home again.
This meant I had to find it myself and that’s pretty damn hard when you can’t remember anything about it. Most of the hotel staff came to help, with one asking what it looked like. “It’s car shaped,” I explained, “and possibly blue.”
Or red. I do believe the Mazda2 is a good small car but in the cut and thrust of modern driving, and especially on a motorway network full of BMW M3s and Romanian lorry drivers on speed, it is terrible. You would be better off on the bus or the train. Or walking on your hands and knees, while naked.
The fact is that, these days, you need power to survive and I really do think the government should stop fannying about with speed cameras and home zones and congestion charging. The cities are fine. It’s the rest of the road network that needs to be addressed.
What I propose, then, is a ban, on any derestricted road, for any car that does not have at least 150bhp under the bonnet. This way, you won’t hate me for trying to get past in my Lamborghini and I won’t hate you for being in my way. By keeping us apart, it will make Britain a kinder, more understanding place. And in addition, it will remove the single biggest danger on the roads today: big differences in speed.
We’ll all be going quickly out there and that means we’ll all have time to find our dogs and still arrive on time. The Mazda2, then, is excellent. But if I were running the Department for Transport, I’m afraid I’d have it banned.

Vital statistics
Model Mazda2 1.3 TS2 five-door
Engine 1348cc, four cylinders
Power 85bhp @ 6000rpm
Torque 90 lb ft @ 3500rpm
Transmission Five-speed manual
Fuel 52.3mpg (combined cycle)
CO2 129g/km
Acceleration 0-62mph: 12.9sec
Top speed 107mph
Price £9,999
Verdict Excellent, economical hatch, but it’s still completely rubbish
Our Mazda2 is 1.6 l and zippy as hell! We have a 2l AlfaRomeo Spider and there's little to choose between the two in acceleration.
Try the 1.6 liter version!
Margaret
France
Margaret , Montlaur, France
From the current competition, in the London area, this is a much needed car that drives very well, cheap to run and insure. It's not going to break down as it's built in Japan. It's better looking than other super minis and will be available in 3 door next month. TS2 model is great value.
Mark Berkeley, Welwyn Garden City, Engand
I love your British sense of humor and am glad to know your motorways are much like ours here in British Columbia, Canada. I now know why they are not planning to sell any of these in North America for now. Gas will need to be over $20/gal before a significant number of us North Americans will drive these smaller cars. Thanks for the great read.
Grant Harrison, Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
Jeremy, you were reviewing a small 1.3 litre hatch, why did you complain that it didn't drive as 4.0 liter V8?
Would you complain that a 911 cannot transport 7 people? NO.
Mazda 2 is excellent car for the real world created for a specific purpose. And it does that in a briliant way and there's nothing in the class that comes close to what Mazda 2 offers in its package.
BTW, you seem to have problems with brakes on Mazdas, well, I think their sharpness is excellent thing and I find other car's brakes too weak. Anytime I'm back in my car I realize that, unlike fords, opels etc, it acutally DOES have brakes.
Kristian, Bratislava, Slovakia
Clarkson should drop down a gear and put the throttle to the floor. I am sure this would fix most of his acceleration problem.
Adam Cattle, Grantham, United Kingdom
as thinking of buying a new car this year, i have recently test driven the polo gti and mazda 2 1.5 sport. i do like the colours the mazda comes in but , i agree with jeremy clarkson, all the interior is rubbish especially the design of the golve compartment and dsh looks plastic and the air vents looks so much like the fiesta. would much buy the polo gti although it being £3000 more. i think the £3000 more is well worth spending.
sue, surrey,
I disagree with Lyn, Worcester, UK who says:
"I quite agree with Graeme from Aberdeen, the main problem is drivers who insist on driving 20 mph below the speed limit, especially on derestricted roads!"
Its a speed limit, not a speed target! The problem is the poor lane discipline in this country that is the problem. I am quite happy to sit at 55-60 on the motorway in the inside lane, and nothing anoys me more when I get tailgated becoause the guy tailgaiting me cant overtake due to some idiot hogging the middle lane when he (or she!) could pull over. I wouldnt have a problem overtaking on the motorway in my 350Bhp Impreza......if it wasnt for inconsiderate lane hoggers
Chris, Southampton, UK
I am a 56 year old female that has faithfully driven citroens for ten years. I recently bought the new mazda 2 1.5 sport after reading so many good reports about it. I knew that the 1.3 engine would be a little short of acceleration power, and I live in my cars due to my work. Jeremy, you should have taken a citroen c4 to birmingham, then you would know what a great car the mazda 2 is.
Gaynor Brookes, stourbridge, england
Not everyone can afford nice expensive cars some of us do live in the real world and have to get what we can!!!!!
Emma Pickering, kettering, Northants
Jeremy should try driving my old LDV van, whilst towing a large trailer, weighing in at total of just over five tons, with 72 BHP,. Glacial!!
Andy, Congleton,
He's right, I own a Mazda2.
It's brill for the town run, taking the boys out and throwing the bags in the back but it seems to be unable to accelerate beyond 60mph and therefore is scary when trying to overtake.
To solve the problem you need to take each gear to the red line, and use other driver slipstreams to stop the car twitching about at high speeds (+60)
The ride is nippy from 0 - 50mph which is its natural home, the town. its not made for the motorway!
Shahzad Khokhar, Crawley,
hi there i have got ten grand to spend on a car and i want a hatch back but dont know what to get??? any recommendations i did fancy a suzuki swift ??
tracy wilfort, bromley, kent
The review at the bottom of the article says that the mazda can do 107mph at top-whack, if Jeremy could not get more than 56mph out of it it was either knackered, in which case it is not a fair road test or he just wasn't driving it enthusiastically enough. My 14 year old orion which had 105bhp when new still has no problem keeping up or overtaking at motorway speeds, come to that, neither did my old fiesta, so it begs the question "what was he doing wrong - was the handbrake still on????" How about Jeremy gives it to the Stig to take it round the track - that should give it a real test!!!
John, Fleet, Hampshire
Paunchy, balding, 70s mullet and wearing jacket and tie with jeans and trainers, when JC speaks on style it behoves us lesser mortals to pay attention. I also noted with interest Mr. Clarksons' remark about frizzy hair. no mirrors in your house then Jeremy?
KHC, Nottigham,
I am confused! Why is Jeremy Clarkson still promoting cars that discharge over 150g/km into the increasingly precious air we breathe? In today's Sunday Times In Gear the BMW 135i will take Jeremy back to his "wild days of youth" while simultaneously emitting 220g/km. If he carries on like this there won't be any youth to enjoy their wild days! There we are all recycling,using public transport when we can, fitting solar panels to our houses, keeping our food miles to a minimum and for what? With good old Jeremy emitting CO2 by the tank load we're all pissing in the wind. When is Jeremy going to wake up to the reality that unless we ALL radically change our lifestyle the earth will continue to heat up and more species will die while we endure more floods, storms and freak weather. Come on Jeremy- get real and show some responsibility!! Try using your communication skills to lobby the manufacturers to get production line model with nil emisions that we can all aford.
Olga Johnson, Tunbridge Wells, kent
Brilliant!! This man talks so much sense. Under powered cars are terrible, mind numbing and dangerous things. I went from a personal BMW328i to a company Chevrolet Kalos 1.4SX and find it so frustrating to drive! No power, no excitement, I find myself 3 inches from the Nissan Micra in front trying to keep my momentum for the hill, where as in the BMW (which wasn't the quickest car in the world by any stretch!) I used to be more relaxed, knowing I could easily overtake whether there was a hill in the way or not.
Dave France, Rotherham, England
Clarkson is excellent on Top Gear but, please, keep him out of the real world - then he may not be tempted to write any more cobblers like this.
Ron Graves, Birkenhead, England
Wally.
JT, Leeds,
I had a old 1.1L Ford Fiesta in the UK that did 110 mph and was happy to average 85 mph for 4 hours. My newer XR2 was quicker to about 70 mph but not happy over that.
Here in the USA I have a little Ford ZX2 nippy 2.0L, a slow 2.2L S10 pickup, and the fast 2003 model Toyota Tundra 24 valve V6. Do not like taking the S10 on to the freeways as the on-ramps seem shorter than UK ones. You have to know your car/truck and use it accordinally.
Mad_tony, LA, ca
why as you hate politicians but you have KIDS
as a parent 2008 do something useful to help english kids BRAINS slipping down world league tables every week
1 Brains like car engines run on OXYGEN
2 In our sealed carbon homes and modern office air classrooms kids have to forage for Oxygen contaminated with INDOOR AIR CHEMICALS
Who tests the indoor air quality in a state (or private )primary ICT cassroom ans.NOBODY
3 In 1999 I suggested that OFSTED should be given a remit to test the IAQ of state primary (and day nursery ) classroioms
You understand how engines run help get the vested interests in the education industry improve the performance of the kids brains by cleaner air intake
ref costs £9 IAQ IN 10 English Schools by
John Prescotts OoDPM from
BREbookshop.com ref No 148971
Happy new year .....
Robert Ingham, KNUTSFORD, Ches.Uk
This is precisely the reason why cars with less than 100 HP don't sell well at all in North America. A car must at least be fast enough to get out of its own way!
Anthony, New York, USA
C2 Code!
Gavin McKenzie, Cleveleys, uk
The ban on cars under 150bhp would include my series 1 Lotus Elise, which seems to cope quite well on motorways up to well in excess of the speed limit. Surely the ban should be related to bhp per tonne or similar method.
Richard , Uxbridge, England
I drive a 790 Kilo Toyota Aygo, and weigh 82 kilo,s .On my drives on the Autobahn when cruising at 85-90 when conditions permit, I have no problems keeping with the flow only with other 150 bhp drivers who dislike a little car daring to overtake them.When I drive my 345 bhp other car, No problems.Perhaps JC hasnt learnt from all the experience from 20 years ago, when we tried to instruct him on how to drive Nurburgrings-Nordschleife circuit.??
John, Milton Keynes, UK
I have a Volvo S60 which is marvellous for the Motorways and I totally understand why the Police love them. I also drive a 1 litre Yaris, which is good around town, and scary on the motorway. You have to adapt your driving style and use the multi valve, VTEC engines of the little cars they way they should be used. Lots of revs and redline gear changes if you want to keep out of the way of the company car, thrashed, BM's and Audi front bumpers.
Having said that, like many people, I hate the daily motorway commute, the lorry dodging, the 3rd lane hogging, the anger of it all. Like Brian W from LA, I would love a self drive where I can put Work in the destination box and then shut the blinds and get back under the quilt while the 'inteli-box' took me there.
Richie Brown, Telford, UK
Dear Phil M, re:
"Won't it be wonderful when we have speed limits enforced automatically through electronic speed limiters and anyone evading this gets their car crushed."
No, it will be horrid. Mealy minded jobsworths in council offices across the land will drop limits wholescale for no reason other than they have to be seen doing 'something', will put it down to "increasing safety" cheaply without supporting evidence, in the knowledge that if no-one is ABLE to speed, there can't be mass disobeyance of an unfair limit to demonstrate it's irrelevance. It will take forever to get anywhere, and we'll have an increase in deaths from people falling asleep at the wheel and mass inattention. Such a scheme has been trialled. Hopefully the reason it hasn't been heard of again is dismal failure on all the important points. It's nothing more than a blunt control tool that could all so easily be abused by any more oppressive governmental regieme that came to power. Don't be so shortsighted.
Mark, Birmingham, hahaha, UK
Interesting - either there were things wrong with the Mazda, or it was being run-in... Or maybe Jeremy has simply forgotten how to make low-power cars perform.
My driving history hasn't been presigious, but I haven't much experienced the problems he describes except in extreme circumstances.
Across a 45hp Polo, a Clio & a Daihatsu Hijet van (~60hp apiece), 69hp Astra & 75hp Punto, performance has been more than adequate for most real-world driving situations. Admittedly the Polo often gasped for acceleration beyond 40, even at full throttle redlining in 2nd, but the only time I couldn't make 60 pulling onto a motorway was more-than-fully laden uphill onto the A55 in Bangor. It could even overtake with reasonable frequency, if you chose the right time and were unkind to the motor. Passing an OAP one-up out of Chipping Norton? Easy.
The others have been noticably better performers and I haven't had issues (except hijets are terrifying at 80mph!). 150hp would be huge for me!
Mark, Birmingham, hahaha, UK
A few points:-
1. There are no derestricted roads in the UK - they ALL have a speed limit on them but factual accuracy has never been important in JC's rants.
2. There is no need, with climate change biting, and the aforementioned speed limits, for anyone to have a car with MORE than 150 BHP.
Maybe one day JC will look beyond his sad little self centred existence and see the bigger picture - but don't hold your breath waiting !
Brian, Rugby, UK
In Japan there's this "gentlemen's agreement" among automobile manufacturers that power output is to be kept down to 206kW (280bhp) and top speed limited to 180km/h (112.5mph). But like all "gentlemen's agreements" there is a little fudging. There are however, these electron elements (aka chips) that remove the speed limiter and raise the power output. Don't even think about it; petrol in UK is not high enough octane. But light-engine (550cc) motorised shopping trolleys aside, you'd be hard put to find a passenger car with less than 110kW (150bhp) these days. You guys in UK think a turbo Subaru with that bump in the bonnet is a big deal. Well here in Japan they are as common as the cooking version.
Andrew Milner, Yokohama, Japan
As much as I love driving my 300bhp 350Z, the comments attached to this article makes me long for the self driving car... man (or for that matter woman) no longer posses the facility or passion for proper driving. Courtesy, skill and knowledge will disappear, only to replaced by boredom. At least I'll be able to get a little more sleep...
Brian W., Los Angeles , USA / CA
I think I might simply ba a case of power to weight ratio, and with Clarkon's frankley lardy frame in the car, I imagine that any car with less than 150bhp would struggle to get a move on!!! Do yourself a favour Clarky loose some weight man!
Sunny, Birmingham,
If you can't keep up with traffic in a car with 85bhp per ton then you should be banned from driving. Simple as. Driving an underpowered car makes you a better driver because you have to plan everything so much better. I've managed the Coventry to Cirencester run down the A429 in an hour in a 75bhp VW Polo just by CONCENTRATING and planning my manouevers properly...
Russell, Cirencester, Gloucestershire
Nice article, although I have to admit I cope just fine with my 115hp Ford Telstar. One thing is, underpowered manual cars I can live with, but underpowered automatics are another thing altogether. I've owned one four cylinder automatic, and that's one too many. God it was sluggish.
Why not ban any car that weighs more than 1300kg? :p
Dean, Geelong, Victoria, Australia
Howsabout brain power? I live in Germany and trust me many people in their 500hp cars simply cannot drive them properly
Pete, Germany,
Quite agree with Lee from Henley about middle and outside lane hoggers on motorways.Pity the police don't use their cameras to at least caution such motorists - after all they've got enough of them.
Andrew PIttman, Bristol, UK
This is cold war escalation on the highways. Elsewhere the issue may be horse power. In America, it's size and horse power. And now you Brits will understand why much of the USA is populated with Giant Trucks with two sets of wheels in the back alone. You can't afford to hit a 10 ton Ford truck with a cow catcher in the front while driving a Prius, or, er, ah, you will only have the chance to pay once.
Charles, Nashville, TN USA
I would not recommend anyone take the bus not without their own Blackwater security team.
Simon, London,
I drive a 1.0 Corsa and, with the exception of overtaking which is just bloody terrifying, I find it handles all kinds of roads very well indeed. I can cruise at 90 on the motorway quite happily, nip around town and enjoy the b-roads. Its not what you drive, its how you drive that causes accidents and hold ups. People need to realise that with a small engine you really do need to rev hard to get any power. Saying that, if you were to offer me an M3, I would probably bite your arm off!
Thomas Arkle, Plymouth, Devon
the bugatti veyron is the best car i've ever seen! and i've seen alot of cars!
alex, newcastle, england
I completely agree with JC'S comments about the motorways today, driving a gutless small car on the motorway is dangerous and extremely demanding on the driverâs abilities,
I moved on from small cars for commuting a considerable distance and instead brought a large luxury car with a large engine, not only did I make significant fuel savings by using this larger car as it was less stressed at motorway speeds, but is made for far safer motorway driving in general.
I do believe that small cars of less than 1.6l should be restricted to town use as they are wholly unsuitable for high-speed use, better still ban them altogether as the people who drive these vehicles are either too young to drive anything more powerful, or have no interest in cars, for which public transport is provided.
As a further note the motorway and other roads around the UK would become less congested and a safer place to be.
P Goodfellow, Swindon, Wiltshire
I wish the Times would accept that Clarkson is a comedien ( albeit a very good one) and knows nothing about about cars, motoring as it applies to 99.9% of the UK population and life in the real world.
I enjoy both his comedy rants in the Times and Top Gear, however he really should be filed under comedy and not in the motoring section.
If JC cant join the motorway at more than 50 in the Mazda please put the record straight and let me show him how to do it.
Jeff Leicestershire
Jeff Gill, Leicester, UK
Seven hundred miles of motorway are being lost due to poor lane discipline according to figures launched in 2004 by the RAC as part of National Motorway Month.
Researchers for the National Motorway Month campaign conducted a nationwide survey of 15,000 vehicles measuring tailgating and lane discipline in July. From this survey, the RAC estimates that âmiddle-lane hogsâ and âoutside lane-blockersâ are wasting up to one-third of motorway capacity in peak periods, due to poor lane discipline. This 700 miles âlostâ is equivalent to the distance from Aberdeen to Penzance.
The police have the power to pull over motorists for poor lane discipline and also can prosecute if they consider a driverâs behaviour amounts to inconsiderate driving. With an 11 per cent decrease in traffic police in England and Wales since 1997, however, and a lack of visible police presence on the motorways, many motorists are left to get away with their selfish âlane-hoggingâ behavior.
Driver education anyone?
Lee Michigan, Henley,
Horsepower is irrelevant - it is torque (Nm/kg) that matters for acceleration. That is where diesels tend to shine - less power but gobs more torque.
Although not for the Mazda2 - the TD is even worse than the 1.3 (67bhp v 85 bhp, 15.5 v 12.9 0-60mph). The 1.5 has 50% more power (102bhp, 10.4).
And today's 1300 has more power than a 1600 had 15 years ago (when 60bhp was the norm). And the old 155 bhp Rover 3500 V8 would only just be allowed on Jeremy's motorway.
Bryan Miller, Auckland,
Power is not a prerequisite to fun. I recall in my dim and distant youth when I was restricted to my Mum's 34bhp Mini that the name of the game in chasing and overtaking more powerful (and they all were) cars was to drop back a little and then floor it when Cortina man was braking for a bend which you then took flat out and caught and passed him coming out the bend - oncoming traffic permitting. Much more fun than just breezing by because you've a megaton more power. I must admit the roads were quieter back in the 60's so its probably doubly more dangerous to repeat the exercise today. Anyway its not the power that counts so much as the bloke or blokess behind the wheel - so a curate driving a Porsche could be just as much pain as if he were in a Morris Minor.
John Michael, Worcester, UK
Come on Jezza! A nice line but sloppy thinking. It's horsepower per tonne that counts. My old Alfa 33 Sportwagon (125hp) would frighten BMW 3 Series. Its successor, a Puma (125 hp) was a Demon overtaker.
As a starting point Clarkson's law should ban cars with less than 100hp/ton from derestricted roads. This would:
A) Encourage manufacturers to put more power in small cars,
B) Reduce emissions as people realised that you don't need a 5 litre turbocharged V16 to get from A to B quickly and traded down to a pocket rocket.
C) Encourage manufacturers to reverse the trend to ever heavier cars requiring ever more power to keep up.
Roger Ford, Welwyn Garden City,
I am one of those 'dithering old fools' and an engineer who has forgotten more about cars than Clarkson ever knew or knows. We, the elders, are not all alike except in waiting for the yob Jeremy to get old. Then we will blast him off the road. With no mercy.
Jagfan, London, Middlesex
We expect Jeremy to say ridiculous things - he does it deliberately for comic effect, but what really made me laugh was the number of fools who took him seriously and reiterated his comedic rantings as if they actually meant it. Maybe there should be some kind of health warning placed above Jeremy's writings along lines such as, 'stupid people and psychotic petrol heads should avoid this piece.'
By the way, one of the best of Jeremy's articles was the one entitled, 'Binge drinking is good for you.' I enjoyd that one very much indeed. Search it out and have a laugh.
Tony Volpe, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK
I quite agree with Graeme from Aberdeen, the main problem is drivers who insist on driving 20 mph below the speed limit, especially on derestricted roads! Many of these however do have new powerful cars, for the comfort, it appears, as they have no idea how to drive them and it drives me insane!
I am also convinced that many people believe the speed limit on the open road is 50mph and not 60mph, as so many insist on driving at 50 or just below! Can you remind people of this on TG please JC? The other really annoying thing is that these people who cannot drive above 35 or 40 in their new powerful cars, will speed through a 30 or 40 mph zone and to add insult to injury, they seem to keep getting away with it! I always feel that if I were to speed to keep up with them I would be the one done for speeding, be fined and have points on my licence!
Yes, slow drivers, particularly in new powerful cars, are the most annoying on the road.
Lyn, Worcester, UK
Some years ago I had an Alfa Sprint with 85bhp - I could overtake in that. My current Audi A4 diesel 'only' has 140 bhp while my previous Volvo S40 had 115 bhp - I have/had no trouble in overtaking. Get yourself a diesel Jeremy and feel the turbo come in - you sure can overtake with a lot less than 150 bhp (at least that wouldn't exclude an Alfa GT diesel or a Volvo with the magnificent D5 engine).
Ian Burgess, Bristol,
Completely Agreed Jeremy, the simple fact of the matter is that 150 horsepower can be put in any car without much problem with current technology, and realistically, using a motorway or overtaking with less than 150 horsepower is dangerous. The simple solution is to require 150 horsepower, and to bump the speed limit up to a higher level. If any of the ecomentalists or health and safety people complain, they should be arrested and reeducated, simple enough, no?
Kevin B., Dallas, Texas
Quite agree, Jeremy. We should have a two tier motorway system, one for lorries and noddy cars and another for those who want to get from A to B in a reasonable time without having to run the gauntlet of the self-appointed lane hoggers!
Anne, Liverpool,
Of course speed kills, especially if your a soft squishy pedestrian or cyclist. Not to face up to that is just engaging in the motorists 'big lie' Hit someone at 30 and the chances are they will survive, hit them at more than 30 and the chances are they won't.. Even better if your going slowly don't hit them in the first place! I suspect people who may glib statements about speeding have not losed a loved one on the roads. Nine people died on the roads today, of which 4/5 will have speed as a factor (on average)
John McDowall, hertford,
JC is a great entertainer. Its good to see that he recognises the reward for this has been to isolate himself from the real world.
AndyN, Reading,
Banning all cars over 150bhp would have the same effect.
Tim, Weybridge, Surrey
Mazda does not sell the Mazda2 in the US. After reading the review I am thankful for that. 85hp? Haven't driven a car that wimpy since I crashed my Simca when I was a kid. (Loved that car, though.) The small Mazda 5-door sold here in the Mazda 3. It has 1.8 L 156 hp engine. I think Jeremy would like it better. Zoom Zoom.
Philip , Reston, VA USA
Jeremy is quite right. for the same money you could pick up virtually any GTi hatchback from the major manufacturers that's only a couple of years old, and then you'd have all the toys, better build and power when you needed it. You'd have to be insane to want to sit behind a caravan all the way from London to Cornwall. And don't say fuel economy, driven sensibly most of the time you will get 35-40mpg out of most GTis.
jack, leeds,
I generally enjoy reading Clarkson's columns so it's a pity when I find one such as this which contains perilous quantities of utter drivel. 85bhp not enough for use on the motorway?
Maybe Jeremy has got too used to driving cars with large amounts of power because my 9 year old 1.3 60bhp Ford Fiesta can manage motorways quite happily cruising at 80, with more in hand. I seem to have no trouble overtaking either.
What we need is a ban on drivers incapable of making best use of the performance of the car, not a ban on low powered cars. And if Jeremy can't make good use of 85bhp, then perhaps he shouldn't be allowed to drive lower powered cars. It's not like we'd miss his 'thorough' road tests...
Antony, Leeds, UK
Or alternativly ban every car with OVER 150bhp. The logic works the same way.
Mark Adams, Mansfield, UK
I am, sadly, by virtue of my cuurent financial position, unable to buy a nice new high-powered car. The solution though, rather than opting for a weedy and, I agree, dangerous car like this, is surely to buy used. The is simply no need for everyone to have a new car and the disposable culture in this country is far more damaging to the environment than any amount of CO2 produced by more powerful cars. So, I have a 9 year old 220hp car that is still stunning to look at and a hoot to drive. I intend to look after it and to keep it for some time, not just let it go to ruin and scap it. If you are poor, buy an old car, not a rubbish one.
Richard, Cheshire,
People who respond seriously and indignently to JC need to get a life. It's truth with an element of mischievous fun....like all good stories. Thanks Jeremy. You are welcome over for dinner any time, it's just that I'm not going to tell you where I live in case you actually did come over and laugh at my new Mazda2.
Daniel Croft, York,
Hmmm... maybe you need to lose some weight JC. I tried one of these and by rowing the gears, it moved quite well really. Not interesting though.
Now if you'd complained about VAG's dead-ferret 1.4 in the Polo, or the dog 1.6 in the A3, then I'd be with you all the way!
David Jefferis, Brill, UK
I still maintain that the outside lane should have a higher speed limit. a tiny percentage of all accidents happen on britains fastest roads (motorways) again proof that the slogan "speed kills" is nonsense. most accidents occur in towns/built up areas. when people are left to their own devices accidents are much rarer than when there's "traffic calming measures" such as speed bumps, and over-abundance of speed camera's etc. just look at the below to see that these measures are counter effective
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shared_space#The_philosophy
its not speed that kills, its crap drivers, cars which go 20mph slower than the the limit making the people behind take risks just 2 get past, attempting to overtake a lorry in an underpowered car, bad weather, yobs trying to show off and havin no where to do it except public roads or the sudden deceleration of hitting something
please run for the dpt of transport, or mayor of london. anything 2 get rid of bus lanes and crap cars
Graeme, aberdeen,
Poor Jeremy. Spends his life in Ferraris, Porches, Mercedes, Lamborghinis etc, etc. (See Top Gear). When for the first time in years he gets into the sort of car that the real world drives he can't take it. Surprised he didn't comment on the lack of paddle shifts! Maybe it's not the fastest of cars, nor the best on the motorway, but that's not it's made for!
Mark, Cardiff, UK
Jeremy has come up trumps once again. He is the thinking man's answer to the champagne socialist-killjoys who infest the Whitehall corridors to keep unemployment fgiures down.
Jeremy should run for the big office - I will be his first recruit!!
Shabir, London, London is London
"drop a cog on the five-speed box, weld your foot to the floor and pull onto the other side of the road "
Yep, welcome to the real world Jeremy. There's acceleration there somewhere though. Try dropping another gear! Third is noisy but it gets things moving.
Kieran, Athlone,
As usual Jeremy Clarkson is a delight to read, witty writers don't come much better than him.
Sadly when it comes to motoring there's a reality gap, just like his TV Programme when the 'little people' who can't afford Aston Martins and Ferraris have to drive the likes of little Mazdas and Hondas because thats all they can afford.
On the point of underpowered cars he's actually right again, but I for one can't wait to see him trying to convince the world a 150+bhp white Transit is good for the environment and when it's tailgating you 5 feet from your bumper on the middle lane of the M62 good for road safety too. If he's serious how about promoting those 1.4 engines with turbos which gives enough oomph for most people who don't drive supercars but also are liveable with too?
Stuart Hawkesworth, Leeds,
"Sensational provocation"....Jeremy's speciality and refreshing for it. A healthy dose of snobbery has not hurt the argument either, or for that matter his loathing of poltical correctness. I enjoyed it all because it was typically Clarkson and he is VERY good at it.
Malcolm Wright, Paignton,
You can tell the person who has no understanding about cars or driving by the way he confuses power with top speed. Like the misguided Australian contrbutor at the top of this feedback section. Most cars, however underpowered, can break all the UK speed limits. And in Australia where there are more kangaroos than cars, it's probably entirely possible to go on an epic road trip in a sewing machine with four wheels without 'discomfort or concern'.
But motorway driving on very busy roads and city driving, especially in the likes of London, Paris and Rome, requires the ability quickly to take advantage of gaps in traffic. A lack of power means a dangerous lack of responsiveness, which in turn means that you are a danger to yourself and to others.
Having been saddled with an underpowered company car many, many years ago, I can confirm that Clarkson is right. The biggest danger to road users is underpowered vehicles, not overpowered ones.
David Garfield, London, UK
Jeremy,
I think thats a cracking idea. I live in Australia and drivers in their little buzz boxes dirve slowly on our motroways causing grief and making everyone merge over, and those who aren't very good at merging, crashing. I think Australia needs to employ a 150BHP minimum on our motor ways
Sunny, Sydeny, Australia
Overtaking in a 1.3l difficult?! Rubbish.
When sandwhiched between two slow moving lorries simply slow down until the lorry behind has to pull out to overtake. Now the middle lane is blocked from behind you and you can happily pull out safe in the knowledge that anyonw who would have been a danger is now lodged halfway inside the lorry.
Not safe, not to be advised, in short, remarkably good fun.
dave, worthing, uk
I drive an aging Mazda 121, which has taken me from Sydney to both Melbourne and Brisbane a number of times without the slightest discomfort or concern. And before anyone says I don't understand British motoring conditions, I also drive several times a year between London and Yorkshire, albeit in a VW Golf. I try to stick at a speed that is a defensible margin over the speed limit in both countries.
It isn't power you need as much as a bit of commonsense and, well, not being the sort of person who mislays their phone charger and car keys, really.
Clarkson you are a spoilt drip, an entertaining one I will admit but nonetheless spoilt drip.
Geoffrey, Sydney / Richmond,
I've got an 2.2 turbo, I would like to say that's pretty damn fast if you put your righty down, though it does struggle on the economy side though.. ohhhh thats the point! 1.3 eh? Why would you even think it could be speedy up hills...?
Chris, UK,
To Phil M:
You really enjoyed reading 1984, didn't you? I bet you thought it narrated a desirable utopia. Speed limits enforce automatically? Cars crushed? How about CCTV cameras inside our homes so nobody does anything deemed improper by petty bitter bureaucrats? It's obvious you lost the ability to have any fun, but don't try to stop the rest of us. Get the hell out of the fast lane.
Dan, Independence,
"Giving it more power would just lead to more deaths on our roads". So presumably buying the 1.5 model would socially irresponsible in the extreme! There is nothing "safe" about underpowered vehicles which cannot keep up with the normal flow of traffic on A-roads and motorways, or overtake quickly and efficiently.
Much as I'm sure Keith Kondakor would love us all to be restricted to processional lines of 55mph, the reality is that free-flowing motorways, in clear conditions, usually maintain an average speed of 80-90mph. Cars which take half a minute or more to struggle up to these speeds are far from ideally suited to these conditions. Their eventual top speed is irrelevant.
Neil, Slough, UK
Great shame - I owned a 323 saloon a few years ago and it went like stink, despite being a 1.3; I have very fond memories of that car. Great suspension setup too, although the dash was a monument to the art of cheap plastic.
BTW Clarkson, I don't believe you about the road. After the uphill stretch out of Long Compton there's a mile-long flat straight before you reach Shipston; even my wife's Yaris can pretend to be a supercar along that...
Julian, Shipston-on-Stour,
In real world driving top speed is irrelevant - acceleration is the key. Here in Los Angeles if your car can't manage 0-60 in at least 8 seconds you're in trouble. Real world LA drivers cut each other off, routinely run yellows, speed, pass on the right, don't check lanes, don't indicate and sometimes shoot at each other. You have to keep up - it's safer. If you're not quick you're terrified. I drive a 130 hp Focus and am usually terrified. I would voluntarily stay off the motorway but have no alternative.
B, Los Angeles,
I own a blue mazda2, (the best christmas present I've gotten ever!) And I don't think you've been fair, it does have a decent punch and, though admittedly cheap-feeling, merges gracefully onto the highway lorry lane.
Lula, Arundel, WS/UK
Nice said about the Romanian lorry divers speeding. At last somoene says something good about Romanians.
a Romanian lorry driver, Bucharest,
Ten years ago, the Mazda 2 would have been competing with the Golf, it's roughly the same size as a 2000 Mazda 323. Mazda claim they've managed to keep the weight down to about a ton, but that's still a lot of stodge to pull, particularly in a car shaped like a breadbin and powered by a lawnmower engine. The real point is that cars are getting bigger because people are meatier - the Punto and the Polo would have been camper vans in the 50s - and that's why the 2 is so dreary to drive. It's just too fat!
Eric, London,
Jeremy hits the nail on the head when he says that it is relative speed, rather than absolute speed, which causes accidents. This is something so staringly obvious that only a politician could miss it. The action against high speed has been continuous, heavy-handed and ineffective. It is time to address the problem of the tiny percentage of abnormally slow drivers who cause all the blockage, frustration, and impatience in the system. I seem to remember that when the M1 was first opened there was a minimum speed limit of 40mph on it. We should make that 50, and raise the upper limit. In my experience, the practical maximum speed differential is about 15mph per lane, so that would provide for an 80mph speed in the outside lane of a three-lane motorway, which is roughly what we actually have. The middle -lane ditherers are the problem, and they should become the target of the safety campaigners. We should remember that roads are for travel, not for "safety".
Richard, Dunstable,
speed doesnt kill, bad driving does.
lucho, manchester, uk
Dear Mr Clarkson
I would love to read your view on the new Landrover LR2 or Freelander 2 as you English call it, go on give it another go and let us know, your wife might even swop that old Defender that is chewing up your yard and fields.
Thanks
walter
Walter cartwright, Williamstown, Canada
Jeremy, I've been reading you for ages and as much as I usually like your views, today you've lost it completely!
The three commandments of the good driver:
1. Know how to stop the vehicle
2. Know what you're driving
3. Act accordingly
You already knew it was a 1.3 litre engine and obviously that's not meant for speeding but for fuel economy . It's a bit like trying to introduce you as a sensible and open minded chap...
Next time try and be a bit fairer to the subject of analysis using it for what it was meant for and drive in a rush with your Lambo or one of the many XC90 you seem to own!
Alfredo Nieto, Madrid, Spain
Come on Jezza, you're not part of the grey brigade yet, are you? That video of you in the Atom is the most popular ever on YouTube, and it was only a few years ago you did that. That little 1.3 litre engine can still whisk you along at up to 100mph, surely that's sufficient enough to get you into the middle lane??
As it's probably a while since you've driven a normal car, I'll give you some hints. If you want to go fast you have to mash the little engine until it squeals out in pain. Also plan ahead a little as the power isn't there straight away. Just putting your foot down in ANY gear doesn't work. Also try using the lorries to draft whilst you're accelerating. Then if you time these right, you can accelerate until you're within a few feet of the lorry in front and pull out at speed. 80-90 mph will be fine, as long as there's nothing too close. Also (this is the best tip) indicate, often cars will pull into the third lane if they see you're waiting to enter the second.
Justin, Nr. Lincoln, UK
The next time clarkson get's a speeding fine his sentence should be.
12 months, restricted to a Honda 50 moped limited to 30 mph.
Once a few speeding hot heads have been caught the roads will be safer for everyone.
12 month's later he will be a different person in his Aston Martin.
GarryThomas, Cardiff, Wales
Ah Jeremy....here is a new froggyism for you.......finess...the fantastic pleasure in planning, building momentum in a tight time frame.....avoiding the truck trap.....thinking ahead and using your head to go like spit instead of your foot welded to giga horses. Passing the doofus in front can take strategy, forethought...a game plan. The sheer joy of driving a small struggler well may be beyond you...but certainly not beyond those of us who TR 2'ed our way at the pace of an English goaltender under stress. Try driving my son...you'll love the feeling of achievement.
Tom Norton, Male', Maldives
Oh come on Clarkson, you can do better than this. We all know how difficult it is to drive a normal car in fast traffic. But it's what the rest of us have to do. We don't have the luxury of deciding whether to go for the X5 or the M3. And when the pool car says Daewoo on it, what choice to we have? Why take the mick out of us for what we have to drive?
That you couldn't make good headway is a testament more to your singular reliance on power than to the insipid nature of the car you drove.
Even in my 1.4 LPG (under)powered 5-door thing I can arrive in good time and am rarely late for anything, even Spain.
Hint: get shot of the dogs and think ahead a bit.
Still, it's good to know you suffered a bit. Welcome to the real world.
Paul, Cusco, Peru
Well said Jeremy: It's the inconsiderate drivers doing 80 and 90 in the middle lane which make life hell for drivers of small cars. Never have I seen the case for more speed cameras on the motorways better argued.
Brian Eave, Cardiff,
Why would you drive a Mazda 2 from your place, to Birmingham, when you have a Lambo in the garage & no passengers to accommodate? I am sure that even in Motor Journalism, there is a time & a place for everything. Getting to MPH on time & in style should have been a priority. Shame on you!!
I LOVE hearing the tales from all your supercar adventures, but I can't afford the luxury of a new car with more than 1.5 under the bonnet and feel now even worse about it after reading your column.
If you hadn't driven the Mazda, you wouldn't have been annoyed by it, not written about it, so I wouldn't have read about it, and now be feeling all cross. Next time do me a favour and, TAKE THE LAMBO!
JezzaBelle, Somerset, ENGLAND!!
Jeremy needs to spend more time driving normal cars; try using more than two gears next time...
Mark Richards, London,
Well there's clearly no point in commenting on what JC said because he's always right. So just the commentators then... Jose - you can keep the real world; I'll stay here in my 200bhp world with JC. Keith - giving a Mazda more power would lead to more deaths on the road. What, automatically? Without input from a stupid driver or two? I don't think JC would agree with you there old son and neither do I. There are too many boring and uninspired cars being used as domestic appliances and getting in the way of proper drivers of cars with POWER.
Epimethean, Surrey, Eggland
I absolutely agree with Clarkson, slow cars are terrifying and downright dangerous because it takes too long to get up to the speed of other traffic. Ban them.
Chris, UK,
Welcome back to the "real world" JC
Jose, Lagos, Portugal
My God what a whinger - I'm not even sure what air you could possibly breathe, Lord of the Complaint, that would suit you.
Always liked Mazdas in fact owned an RX-3 - still look back fondly on it.
And to think you earn a substantial living for whinging - and your humour has lost its edge too -- Oh my God - I'm whinging too - it's contagious
John, Dublin,
This mazda can go 37mph faster then the UK's highest speed limit. Giving it even more power would just lead to more deaths on our roads. If someone is killed on a road then it is closed for around 6 hours which delays vast numbers of people. We do not need people on our roads who do every trip as if its is a F1 race.
We need cars designed for normal people, which use as little fuel as possible and have moderate performance. Jeremys problem with the mazda on the motorway will be due to the other jeremys driving just like he would given the chance.
Keith Kondakor, Nuneaton, Warwickshire
Great point Jeremy. It already exists (sadly only in Germany) and very aptly named too: the 'auto-ban'! Ie. just for supercars.
Fouad Diouman, London, UK
Won't it be wonderful when we have speed limits enforced automatically through electronic speed limiters and anyone evading this gets their car crushed.
Phil M, London,
Oh come on Jeremy, its a great little car. Probably one of the prettiest superminis too along with the Punto. Its probably more relevant to society than any other car you'll drive this week. Where can you use a 400bhp super sedan in surveillance britain?
Brackie, Melbourne,