BIT of pain in the left calf. Think I might have been overdoing it and will have to join Simon Jones in that oxygen tent thingy that is supposed to be providing a high-speed cure for his ailing ankle.

Not that I am thinking of joining him in England’s bowling attack against the Aussies; just worried about collecting the shopping. At least, I would be if I had to do the Sainsbury’s run in the Aston Martin V8 Vantage.

The recurring theme in the bumf I was handed before I nosed out of a glamorous hotel in Tuscany behind the wheel of the new V8 was “muscular”. Worse still, the design brief, apparently, was to make the V8 look like a “well-toned athlete wearing a skin-tight suit”. As a result, the bumf tells me, the car “achieves perfectly that muscular, close-cut look”.

Well, I don’t want to labour the point, on the grounds that some glamorous, single woman on the look-out for a cute, cuddly motoring editor to look after may be reading this and be put off, but . . . put it this way, the driver was not quite as big, or as taut, as the car. As I found out about three minutes into driving the V8.

The V8 Vantage will come as a shock to drivers who think they already have a sports car. Shock one: somebody has put a manual gearbox in it — you know, one of those you have to waggle about yourself, a gearbox that forces you to listen to the engine and then make a judgment about when you might need to select a gear.

Now there’s a blast from the past, in this age of space-age transmissions that do everything but put the cat out. Shock two: it makes no concessions to wimps who spend their lives getting sand kicked in their faces. If you don’t like the way it works, then tough, because Aston has produced an uncompromising car in a mould that seemed to have been broken in recent times.

The detail best tells the story: a 4.3-litre V8, pumping out 380 brake horsepower through a six-speed manual and firing a tonne-and-a-half of car to 60mph in 4.8 seconds was never going to be a shopping trolley. Oh, and unlike the Germans’ offerings, there is no electronic speed governor limiting it to 155mph; this thing goes all the way to 175mph, if you can find a piece of road long enough without a caravan on it.

Frankly, I hated the car on first acquaintance. It may be stunning — this, surely, is the best-looking of the Aston family, if not the best-looking sports car on the road, all swoops and curves, even without the skin-tight suit. But all-round vision is dismal and, if you are buying one, order the parking sensors now because there is no hope of reversing without them, unless you are happy to risk that immaculate bodywork. And, somehow, I couldn’t get the hang of the car, didn’t really understand what it was about. Why a big, lumpy gearbox with its occasional thunk through the transmission, and why so plainly difficult to drive?

Our second meeting was a Road to Damascus experience, although on a winding road to Siena flanked by Chianti and Montepulciano vines that flashed by in a blur. When you meet the Aston on its terms and really drive it — that is, drive it hard and apply some skill and thought — it is astonishing. It hugged the tarmac and leapt over potholes like that well-toned athlete, without a hint of wanting to slide off into the stone walls to mash a few bunches of grapes a little earlier than the farmers intended. The engine may be front-mounted but it sits well back under the bonnet, almost like a third passenger, and that helps to lend stability to what is still a fearsomely large, if agile, car.

The interior is sumptuous, as you would expect from an Aston, and there is no pretence at being a 2+2 — unlike so many sports cars, whose manufacturers helpfully provide two rear seats with little room.

Aston simply provides a parcel shelf to complement a boot big enough for, well, a suitcase. After that, travel light. If there is one thing I really want sports car makers to stop doing, it is the golf club reassurance speech. Every one of them, Aston included, claims you can get two golf bags in the boot.

I DON’T BELIEVE YOU. It is a stupid thing to say, so stop it. The only golf bag that will go into the V8, or any other sports car for that matter, was made for Mini-Me and comprises entirely nine sand wedges and a half-size driver. And the half-size driver is not me. If you want to go to the golf club, take a hatchback.

Thank you. I feel better for that rant, and getting it off your chest is as good as an exercise regime, which I need if I am getting back into the Aston. Today, sand-splattered, hatchback-driving wimp; tomorrow, taut, muscular, Aston driver. Well, we can all dream.

ASTONISHING FACTS

• The V8 Vantage is Aston Martin’s entry-level car at £79,995, at least £30,000 cheaper than a Ferrari 430.
• The V8 represents the end of a long battle to resurrect Aston by Ford, its owners. The company is profitable this year for almost the first time in its history.
• In 91 years since its foundation, Aston Martin has made about 21,000 cars. In 1994, Aston made just 42 cars; this year, the total will be 5,000.
• Five years ago, 80 per cent of Astons were sold in the UK; now it is 30 per cent, with the rest exported.
• Although Aston claims its cars are “hand-built in England”, the V8 engine comes from Cologne in Germany.
• Aston is a significant employment success, with 1,000 people at a new headquarters in Gaydon, Oxfordshire.
• The V8 is also a huge success, with 5,000 people already on the order books, paying deposits of up to £5,000.

ASTON MARTIN V8 VANTAGE

HOW MUCH: £79,995

STYLE: Classic British two-seater

HOW FAST: Zero to 60mph in 4.8 seconds, top speed 175mph

HOW THIRSTY: 16 to the gallon (and it’s a 16.8 gallon tank)

UNDER THE BONNET: 32-valve, 4.3-litre, 380 brake horsepower V8. Rear-wheel drive with six-speed manual gearbox

WHAT YOU GET: Power and performance plus all leather interior, alloy dashboard fittings, ten-way adjustable seats, CD-player plus traction and electronic brake distribution controls

EXTRAS YOU HAVE TO BUY: Cruise control, parking sensors, satellite navigation, tyre-pressure monitors

THEY SAY: “Hand-crafted offering electrifying performance and outstanding agility.”

WE SAY: Not for the faint-hearted. Join a gym and get fit if you’re buying one.

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