Short of moving into a five-star hotel complete with personal butler, it’s hard to think of an environment that caters to your most trivial needs more effectively than the interior of a luxury car. Aching back? Then take a massage on the move, at 155mph. Too tired to press the pedals in an urban jam? Leave it to the radar — it tracks the position of the traffic in front, gently braking and accelerating your car to maintain station in the crawl. Hate parking? Drive slowly past an empty street-side space and the Mercedes CL will assess its length and, if it’s big enough, provide you with manoeuvring instructions to slot you home.

Mercedes reckons on selling about 500 of these über-coupés every year, most being the £79,550 5.5 litre V8 CL 500, but a few the £106,995 twin turbo V12 CL 600. Despite such rarity the CL has significance for those of us with lesser cars because it trailblazes technology that will become more widely available.

This latest model pioneers a new safety system. Unmemorably labelled Pre-Safe Brake, it incorporates the previously available Pre-Safe system (the passenger seat is moved into the optimum position should an accident be considered imminent, the air cushions in the seats are inflated for additional protection and the windows and sunroof are closed), warns the driver of said collision and calculates the stopping effort required. If the driver fails to hit the big pedal then the system brakes automatically, using 40% of the car’s stopping power to reduce the severity of the impact, if not avoid it altogether. It’s like having someone to watch over you.

If these safety nets make you feel more secure, the CL itself will surely make you feel good about life. It’s big and has a svelte, muscular authority that falls on the right side of brutish. It is mildly, subtly ostentatious. The same applies to the richly furnished wood-and-leather cabin.

With its 388bhp V8 and seven-speed automatic gearbox, the CL 500 will hit 62mph in 5.4sec and reaches an electronically limited 155mph. The 517bhp twin turbo V12 CL 600 (it makes do with five speeds) knocks off the sprint in 4.6sec. Both engines are really good at serving fat streams of civilised power on demand, the V12’s advantage only becoming truly useful somewhere north of 100mph. It’s built for annihilating unrestricted autobahns, and if your journeying rarely takes you there then the CL 500 will more than suffice. It is much better value, too, costing £27,445 less than the £106,995 CL 600.

You’ll need to pay extra for the ventilated, massaging front seats, but the CL 500 is a lavishly kitted car. Like its pricier brother it comes with second-generation Active Body Control suspension. All you need know about this ingenious system is that both Porsche and VW want to buy it but Mercedes isn’t selling. What they’re after is its near-magical ability to stop the body of a big, heavy car like this from lurching and heaving during cornering, braking and accelerating, enabling it to move with a dexterity that would challenge cars half its size.

But the CL is not a sports car — you’re too detached from the proceedings for that. Instead it encourages cruising, an experience all the more enjoyable if you drop all four electric windows. Like its predecessors, the CL has no central roof pillars, presenting an unimpeded view through the sides of the car and a luxuriantly breezy experience provided you don’t charge too hard.

Among high-end coupés it’s almost unique in providing four adult-sized seats and a boot that will swallow a sizeable trawl of luggage. However, only the CL 500 makes sense in this speed-limited country. Few will need the near-absurd potency of the V12, its price taking it perilously close to the Bentley Continental GT whose more beautiful looks and blue blood eclipse the Benz, albeit with rear seats resembling leather-lined torture cells. But if £80,000 is your budget, then the CL 500 is your car. It comes with an engaging battery of intelligent features, it’s addictively potent, handsome, library-quiet and as comforting as a scatter of velvet cushions.

THE OPPOSITION

Model Jaguar XKR coupé £67,495
For Agility, looks, economy and value
Against Useless rear seats

Model Bentley Continental GT coupé £117,500
For Handsome, powewerful, blue blood
Against Ride not the best, cramped rear seats, thirsty

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