I’ve long thought that one of the great problems facing society today is our inability to say what we truly feel. The mincing of words through terror of causing offence will be the undoing of us all. So I hope BMW will understand when I say you’d need to be nuts even to contemplate buying one of these new Z4 M Coupés.

The Z4 M Coupé is BMW’s reply to the Porsche Cayman S and, at £41,285, costs just £2,645 less. But while the Cayman comes with almost dizzying across-the-board ability, the Z4 M comes with more flaws than Baldrick’s most cunning plan. It’s ridiculously cramped — I had to drive it in my socks — the suspension is as unyielding as a local planning committee and if you get to a slightly staggered T-junction you have to get out of the car to see if anything’s coming.

Then there’s the fact that the rear-view mirror will show you the road immediately behind but nothing actually using it, while some of the interior materials would be judged a disgrace on cars costing half as much. And I’ve not yet mentioned that it’s nearly impossible to drive smoothly, there’s next to no stowage space in the cabin and precious little more in the boot.

And I’m now starting to question my sanity because, six hours after I parked it and somehow managed to extricate myself from its interior, I’m still grinning. Fundamentally it all comes down to one thing: focus. No car can be good at everything and I almost always warm to those that don’t bother trying. And I’m not sure I’ve ever driven a mainstream production car that cares less about the tedious realities of everyday life on the road than this.

For the reasons outlined above, it’s a car most people will hate. Moreover, those enticed by the idea of a Z4 that’s been given the “M” treatment will sensibly opt for the convertible Z4 M Roadster which will put the sun on their face and the wind in their hair. It has the same engine and gearbox as the coupé and identical performance.

But there is method in BMW’s madness and it goes way beyond the £1,510 you save by buying the coupé. Instead of taking its usual approach where every car within a particular genre is designed to attract as many people as possible, BMW has gone in completely the other direction.

The company figured its customers would have no interest in ride comfort so the suspension has been beefed up to something not far short of race car stiffness. The steering has been speeded up even more so the slightest movement of the wheel has a dramatic effect on your direction, while even the differential has been tweaked to help flick the car more quickly into corners.

All of which makes it feel pretty scary at first. It’s reactions are so immediate compared with almost any other road car that it takes a bit of time to recalibrate. But when you do, the only real risk of crashing comes from laughing yourself off the road. The 3.2 litre 338bhp six-cylinder engine may be in its sixth season but its power delivery is still outstanding. Change gear at 8000rpm and it’ll hit 60mph from rest in less than 5sec, at which stage it appears to be merely getting into its stride.

And after a bit you’ll even learn to trust it in the corners. What feels at first like instability turns out to be nothing more than startling agility. If you turn off its electronic stability control and really find out what it’ll do you’ll discover you have to work hard not to fall victim to its natural exuberance and punch a hole in a hedge. But if you respect it while treating it with a firm hand, it’s a bundle of fun.

The BMW Z4 M Coupé goes on sale in Britain in June and, by its own admission, if BMW sells 200 a year here, it’ll be delighted. I reckon it’ll do it. There must be a couple of hundred slightly unhinged enthusiasts out there who’d willingly forgo the effortless and scintillating appeal of the Cayman for something altogether wilder, even if substantially less accomplished. Yes, you’d need to be nuts to buy one — but that is precisely what BMW is counting on.

THE OPPOSITION

Model Porsche Cayman S £43,930
For It doesn’t put a foot wrong in any area that matters
Against Lacks rear seats, looks a little weird

Model Nissan 350Z £26,345
For Fantastic performance for the money, handles well too
Against Badge snobs won’t look at it, stiff ride quality

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