"You ought to be wearing a disguise, mate,” opined the white van man once he’d drawn alongside and gestured me to lower my window. On paper it sounds like simple abuse but it was not intended as such. In reality, such was the note of tender concern in his voice, it must have been heartfelt advice.

This was but one of many unsolicited contributions I received from a variety of automotive connoisseurs as I drove the Nissan Cube around London. They ranged from the obscure “Oi, where’s your cat?” — figure it out yourself — to the frightfully considered “That is, by some distance, the ugliest car I have ever seen in my life”. Once I found myself next to a Routemaster bus and, looking up, saw every face on the upper deck pressed against the window; the expressions they wore were definitely more shock than awe.

Then again, the Cube was never designed to appeal to such people. Its target audience is young, liberal Japanese who have family needs and means but fashionista aspirations. It will never be officially sold here by Nissan, but it will be seen on British streets thanks to independent importing companies. This one was brought here by Intercar (020 8203 3399 / www.intercarinternational.com) a long-established grey import operator, and it claims its Cube to be the first into the country.

Looking like a refined version of a doodle a nine-year-old might pen in an exercise book during double geography, the Cube is one car that has no problem living up to its name. Look around it and, from the front grille to the rear lights, cubes abound. More distinctive still is its offset rear window and the deleted quarter-light on the driver’s side. Nissan can afford to make the Cube asymmetric because it will be made only in right-hand drive so overall visibility is not affected. It also allows the boot door to open like that of a giant refrigerator — a nice touch unless you happen to be in a tight space, in which case it is utterly infuriating.

Inside, the Cube’s craving for the unconventional continues to hold sway over what many of us old stick-in-the-muds would regard as simple common sense. There’s so much headroom that you could be 6ft 4in and wearing a top hat and still run no risk of encountering the headlining, yet legroom front and rear is nothing special at all.

More curious still is the fact that the Cube is a mere four seater unless you’d be happy for your child to sit in the middle of the rear bench with only a lap belt for protection. There are some nice touches: if you recline both front and rear seats as far as they’ll go the car does a passable impression of a double bed. There’s also a space-saving column shift for the four-speed automatic gearbox and a roped-off area in the huge boot for a freshly ironed shirt, something you’ll need if you wish to turn up for work looking presentable after a slow drive in the Japanese rush hour.

Indeed, the only way to understand the Cube is to imagine it in its intended domestic environment; do this and it starts making a great deal more sense: for all its self-conscious wackiness the Cube actually has a very good idea of what’s required to survive in the home market. There’s no need for performance or handling so it has none, but criteria like ride quality, turning circle and air-conditioning efficiency are paramount, and in all these areas the Cube excels.

Unsurprisingly the car has been a sizeable hit in Japan, thereby neatly defeating its purpose of standing out from the crowd, an irony either lost on or of no importance to its customers.

Over here I expect it to receive a somewhat different reception. Even someone dead set on owning one needs to temper their enthusiasm with a few bald facts. First of all, it is sold without a manufacturer’s warranty as Nissan’s obligation extends only to cars officially on sale in Europe. Intercar, however, does sell the car with a three-year unlimited mileage insurance-based guarantee and the comforting reassurance that it’s no more likely to go wrong than the Micra upon which it is based. Nissan’s dealers are also under no obligation to service or repair it, though Nissan did confirm that they were “free to have a go if they liked”. It would be worth checking with your local dealer first.

And then there’s the price. The cheapest version Intercar offers is the BX, costing £11,995, and while it comes with air-conditioning, power steering and central locking, your colour choice is limited to grey and beige, a move seemingly calculated to ensure absolutely nobody will want one. The car I drove was the mid-spec SX boasting essentials such as electric windows and an immobiliser and a range of colours as unusual as the car itself. I reckon Paprika Orange is the one to have: if you’re going down this road, you might as well go all the way.

Problem is the SX costs £14,500, which is long-wheelbase Mercedes A140 money. Its closest real rival is probably the Citroën Berlingo 1.4i, which costs just £10,745 even after you’ve added air-conditioning and ABS and before you’ve haggled at least a grand off the list price. Unlike the Cube, it will house five, properly located people.

Intercar argues that this is to miss the point of the Cube altogether. It’s a fashion statement and you’ll either fall in love and buy one or you won’t. And they’re right: it’s not a car I could care for, but unless you’re thinking of driving naked, ways of attracting the undivided attention of every other road user probably come no cheaper than this.

VITAL STATISTICS

Model: Nissan Cube 1.4SX
Engine type: Four-cylinder, 1386cc
Power/Torque: 98bhp at 5600rpm / 102 lb ft at 3200rpm
Transmission: Four-speed automatic
Fuel/CO2: 34.0mpg (combined) / 223g/km
Performance: 0-62mph: 11.0sec / top speed: 105mph
Price: £14,500 (from Intercar)
Verdict: Fashion victims, this way please
Rating:

THE OPPOSITION

Model: Citroën Berlingo 1.4i, £9,495
For: Spacious, frugal, good value for money
Against: It's really still a van with windows

Model: Mercedes-Benz A140 LWB, £14,480
For: Phenomenal packaging, great badge
Against: No driver's car, poor ride, exclusivity destroyed by EasyCar rental fleet